On January 12th, 2007 we welcomed with open arms our first baby girl, Gabriele Sheridan. As a first time parent I was overwhelmed with the joy many of you have experienced. But I was also filled with much fear for I had no idea what her future would hold. I mean I was not scared of becoming a part of a new community but I was scared for all the unknowns of what people would say, how they would treat her, what would she be capable of on her own? It was all very honest things I feared for my child. I mean we were not gonna let Down Syndrome be what defined Gabi's future, but we were still fearful of how it could hold her back.
We quickly learned just how stubborn our little girl was, she had so much fight in her. Right away she was able to breastfeed, which we were told she likely wouldn't take to it for a while, because of D.S. We were told she would not develop as other children do. And up until the week before she had open heart surgery she was only one week behind from the "normal" children. I use that word very lightly, because I HATE IT!!! Who can truly define "normal"? Anyways, she had beat the odds that she was up against even as early as 5 months old, so we knew great things were in store for our baby girl.
I want to apologize for not continuing on her legacy as I planned with this blog. I admit I have become lazy. The days seem shorter, my life seems busier, and I always seem to find an excuse of something else I should do. Well I am not going to say this part of me will change, but as much as I enjoy blogging I find myself wanting to spend all my waking moments with Kinsley, can you blame me?!?!?
Gabi was sent from heaven I believe on short loan. I still believe she snuck away and when God did his head count he realized my little punky had gotten away so he was taking back what was rightfully his. Although I still would like to argue we could of given her the most amazing life here on earth, but God has bigger plans for her. I have come to truly believe this did not happen to us but for us. She has left an impact on my life that no other ever could of possibly done. I wasn't a bad person before, but I am definitely more giving and more thankful than I was. As parents we assume it is God's plan that we love and protect our children as he would. Well we did that and now we have a better relationship with him because of her. We did go through our times of doubt, but unless you have been in our situation, which I hope none of you have, you will never truly understand how one could not have such doubt on faith. I have come to peace knowing Gabi is with God and the other angels. I believe she is one of the heavenly hands that has played a huge role in Papa Acker's cancer miracle. He has nearly beat the odds, the doctors say he is a medical mystery...we say God and Gabi are working together and keeping Papa safe! God and Gabi also worked together in making sure Kinsley was created for Jason and I. As I have said on several occasions if it weren't for Kinsley I would be locked up in a looney bin somewhere! I like to think God and Gabi are on our side and they will work close together in keeping our family safe and healthy. We all continue to strive to be better, to serve the Lord better, and someday we will be reunited again.
I was always so scared of dying, but I can honestly say I am no longer scared. It is a reality of life, sometimes sooner than we plan. I know I have the most amazing little girl that will be there waiting for me. I cannot wait to hold her in my arms again. The picture above means so much to me. I know it has only been 2 1/2 years since her passing, but I forget how she feels, I forget how she touched me, to hug her and kiss her it is all such a distant memory. Nothing is worse than not remembering some of the most precious things we should cherish the most as our children grow up, or in my case as they move on to bigger and better places. I want nothing more than my heart to be filled with happiness. We were her chosen parents, whether she snuck away or not, she was ours for a reason. She and God knew we were the best for her and I thank God everyday for the days we had with her. I love harder, give thanks more, and appreicate this precious thing called life more!
So people live, love, and cherish those little ones and when they grow up to be big ones continue to live, love, and cherish the lifetime you've shared!
Happy Birthday my precious punky!!! I love you forever and ever
Monday, January 11, 2010
Posted by Angel Gabi's Mommy at 11:38 PM