WARNING..DO NOT DRINK AND STAND

I know this is a little dark but hopefully you can see our little girl is just growing up so dang fast. All of the sudden tonight she stared standing on her own, with no support. And she did it a lot. Of course she seemed to really like showing off for her Papa, which he totally got a kick out of it...who wouldn't though? Tomorrow she goes in for her 9 month check up, we are so anxious to find out how much she has grown.

Graice has had a lot going on lately. She was involved in a dance clinic that the high school girls taught, which she LOVED...I still think we have a cheerleader though:) And then last week all the second graders had a little concert. They sang 4 ADORABLE mother goose songs. They songs were super cute, I hope she remembers them so we can sing them to Kinsley.The girls keep us so busy, but we are lovin every minute of it!

Chucky Cheese

Workin the balance beam

Hey Great Grandma Bowles, check out my shirt...GO HAWKEYES!!!

Girls Just Havin Fun

Thought this would be a great way to start off this week...

TUCKER BRYANT

Tucker is a very energetic little boy, he is full of life and his family has dreams for him! The only way he will be able to fulfill these dreams is by going to a Childrens Hospital in Boston to have heart surgery. Well as many of you know surgery is very expensive, not to mention what it can do to a family financially. The Bryants live in KC. His mommy, Karen, has prayed for us and given me hope in many desperate times. Tucker deserves this surgery so much. Surgery date is April 13th. We want to help in any way we can. Gifts of Gabi's Grace Foundation has been inactive for a while. So I am hoping and praying that anyone who can help will. Simply click on the picture below and it will direct you to a special blog for Tucker to raise money. They are also doing several raffles to raise money as well. If you would like to make a monatery donation or an item to raffle, or you'd like to bid on an item...PLEASE Click on this adorable little boys picture. We are all experiencing the effects of the economy but every penny counts in a situation like this. The last thing the Bryants need to worry about is if they can afford to be with there son in a time of such importance.At the Children's Hospital in Boston there is a surgeon doing Bi-Ventricle Repairs on kiddos just like Tucker. This is not an experimental procedure, it is not a new procedure, it is however being used in a way that can fix hearts and give Tucker a new life; a long life. A life without being labeled as a "heart baby".

"Without our miracle in Boston, we sit back and wait for the day that Tuck’s little heart gives out. It could be a month, a year, or even 10 years, but the truth is, Tucker's heart will eventually give out. With the heart surgery in Boston, Tucker will have a full heart; a growing heart. He will be able to play sports. He will have oxygen saturation's in the high 90’s, not the low 60’s…..it is everything we have prayed for." -Karen

Gymnastics, Cheerleading, and Random Fun...

Gymnastics with Chelsea, we had a great time. Kins really liked the slide.

OUR FUTURE CHEERLEADER...notice the uniform Tonya:)

I have tried and tried, but Gracie is just not interested in being in the pics. Luckily I got this one, such a silly cheesy girl!
We made, with a little help from our friend Carey, our quilt block piece for the Childrens Mercy Memory Quilt. Obviously Gabi will stand out..hot pink polk a dots:) The quilt will be dedicated over the summer then hung in the hospital. I will give details once it happens, I believe anyone can view if in KC.

Seriously mommy stop with the pictures...Check out her outfit though, I love those boots!!!

30 Something...

This one is about me! I feel I have truly neglected this blog for so many reasons lately and I regret it. There is sooooo much on my mind and instead of getting things out like I used to, I for some reason have been holding everything in. WHY??? I think part of it is because I fear the truth. But if I had more faith in what is going on around me, maybe I'd realize that everything happens for a reason and some day things turn full circle. I try to be a very honest, trustworthy, loyal, caring individual. I do not want from others, I want to give.
So, this past weekend was huge. My girlfriend, Erica from KY, came in town for a weekend full of surprises. Jason planned a party in honor of my big 3-0. He rounded up so many friends I hadn't seen in a while. My girlfriend, Tonya, her hubby Nate, and their twins even came from IA. I am blessed with very special people in my life. THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR COMING OUT ON SATURDAY, JUST WISHED I'D OF BEEN ABLE TO HANG A LITTLE MORE!!!
Today was my actual birthday, I had a wonderful day. My neighbor who is a very good friend took me out to lunch, sushi....YUMMY, and then we got pedicures. What a great relaxing day for just us girls. Then Jason and the girls met me on Mass. St. for some b-day shopping. Actually I think the girls got more than me. Oh well, that is what I do for my girls!

So I started thinking about how quickly life happens. I am in shock to say I am 30, I do not feel 30...or do I? I have experienced so much life in the past year and a half I feel way older than 30. I mean is a person my age suppose to of experienced the things Jason and I have. It all comes down to losing Gabi. I am young I have so much life to live, but yet I lost my daughter and for what? She was a blessing sent from the heavens above and then poof...GONE! UGH, it is still so frustrating. Gracie and Kinsley are here to celebrate this day with me, but I will never have all 3 of my girls together.
I changed out a few pics in frames in Gracie's room the other day. One pics is of her, Kinsley, and her little brother...we both said how it's not fair Gabi can't be in that pic too. Yea, yea, yea she is there in spirit, but that will never be good enough. I just want to SCREAM sometimes. I hate to complain and sound like oh poor me...blah blah blah, but it just sucks! I know that is not what many of you think I should focus on, the Lord has his plan and I should just know that with him I can and will get through this, but will I ever feel complete again...NO!!!

Ok, I do have so much to be thankful for and believe me I AM. Things can always be worse, but come on...this is the worse thing that has ever happened to me and I don't know how else to express my emotions other than to feel a sense of emptiness. I love my life, I love my husband, I love my girls, I love my family, I love my friends. I am a christian, but I am still searching for things that I wonder if I will ever feel the way I used to again. I forgive, but will I ever forget...the pain is always so deep and on the surface.

Many of you have prayed and offered your friendship and kind words to us...THANK YOU!!! I feel that is why I continue on in my search for the unknown. One day I will find it in my heart, but I guess I am just not ready. As for now I am the oldest 30 year old I know. But I did get carded tonight at dinner, so I still got something going for me...HEHEHE!!!