Our BIG Girl...

This week Kinsley has accomplished many new things. Well maybe I should rephrase that, she has experienced many new firsts. It amazes me how quickly she is developing, before you know it she will be crawling all over the place, saying her first words, and dating...hahaha!!! Hopefully that is a very very very long time from now.

My neighbor comes over almost everyday with her 2 year old, Jess and Joellen. Joellen loves her baby Kaddy! So when they were over, Jess mentioned I should put together the exersaucer and see Kaddy does in it. Thanks for the little push to do so, because Kaddy LOVES it. I guess I thought she needed to be much bigger, ha, the seat is a little big, but she can sit up in it and reach all the toys. It is a little advanced for her, but a little extra work never hurt anybody. I cannot believe how much she does play with the toys on it. She reaches, pulls, pushes buttons...most of it is accidental hits, but she still does it and smiles and giggles when it make noises. Soon she will realize it it her that makes the noises go off.

One night at dinner this week I put her in her high chair for the first time, perfect fit. I always set her in the vibrating chair while we eat, so she can be with us, but it is always on the floor, so she has to look up at us. It doesn't bother her, but when I put her in the high chair, talk about grins and giggles...she LOVED being up with mommy and daddy!

I gave her cereal for the first time too! She isn't a huge fan, she definitely likes me better, but it was something new and fun to try. I think she wore more than actually made it into her tummy, but we will keep working on it!

Please mommy, don't make me do this!?!

And finally her last first of the week, we took her to the Ren Fest yesterday. She is so stinkin cute, she had a great time. Such a good time she went about 4 hours before she realized she hadn't eaten, that is huge in the late afternoon. Gracie wore her little fairy outfit and we all enjoyed the day. We will be out there quite a bit since Mimi and Papi are working there again this year. If anyone is interested in going or wants to meet us there please be sure to let me know!

Notice Kinsley is holding Gracie's Fairy wand...she is such a strong little monkey!!!

Worlds of Fun

Gracie had been promised all summer if she was good she would get a big surprise, from Mimi and Papi. Well is was time for redemption, and the kid had one heck of a day. We all got to go to Worlds of Fun, the big amusement park here in KC. She had been once before but she was 3, so never has really experienced the fun. At the beginning of the day we had to convenience her to get on the rides, but as soon as we'd ride them, she'd want to get right back on. She loved it! Papi and Kinsley hung out most of day while the rest of us rode the rides. My brother and I rode all but one roller coaster, we love the thrill. If you ever go to Worlds of Fun, I highly recommend The Patriot, it one of those coaster you feet dangle...it was awesome! I even managed to get Jason on it, although he didn't really like it. He has a bit of a weak stomach when it comes to rides, poor guy can't even ride a carousel.

The very first ride of the day, she had to go twice:)

This turned out to be Gracie's favorite ride, the Octopus

Michael and I are in the very front

Uncle Michael and Kins, oh she loves that thumb!

Kinsley had a rough day waiting on us

Gracie was ready to sneak up on a kid

Gracie, me, and Mimi

Jason got in his kicks too!

All aboard...

Princess Kinsley

Time to go home, check out all of Gracie's winning and she had more stuff not pictured!! Overall a very good day! Thanks Mimi and Papi:)

Piggies for Gabi

Giving thanks and asking for prayer...

We would like to thank everyone for their tributes to Gabi today. It was definitely a rough day for Jason and myself, but with the help of a little wine and my in-laws we made it! I am still getting photos, I will post many tomorrow of our friends all over who wore Piggies with Pride today. If you haven't emailed them to me please do... micah@giftsofgabisgrace.org

On another note I want to ask for more prayers, sorry but we need more! My father in-law got his results back today from his surgery and things were not as we hoped. He is waiting to hear from his oncologist, he has to see a prostate specialist. The cancer is very aggressive, not something any of us wanted to hear. The good thing is, it has not spread so we should still be able to buy more time to attack hard!!! I know that if anyone can fight through this he can, but he needs strength. It would be wonderful if you could leave him a comment and let him know he is in your thoughts and prayers. http://efacker.blogspot.com We all know you read our blogs, we can see the hits on our tickers, but it is nice to hear from you too!!! Gabi is gonna be on Papa watch so he is definitely blessed with on special guardian angel. We love you Papa, we will be there fighting every step of the way with you!!!

Dear Pink and Squishy,

Today is your birthday that mommy and daddy don't enjoy celebrating. It is the day that you received your wings and flew into God's arms. We know that it is extremely selfish of us wanting you here with us instead of in heaven with God. Well....we are your parents and it's our right to be selfish when it comes to you! haha The memories that we have of our short time with you are so amazing. However, the memories that are so vivid on this day are not one's we thought we would ever have to endure. The battle we constantly have is one of wanting you in our arms and of wanting you to be healthy and happy. In God's plan those two could not go hand in hand. To be healthy and happy you need to be with him. That is probably the hardest thing for us to accept as your parents is not feeling like you would be safer, healthier and happier in our arms. We know in our minds that you are where you are supposed to be and we are going to be with you again soon. It's our hearts that continue to ache for you and want nothing more than to take care of you.

You have taught not only us but thousands of others to appreciate life, love, and all the children for every moment we're given before we begin our real lives in our eternity in heaven. We will always miss you and be torn apart by the fact that you are not with us. We also value the time and the lessons that you gave us and promise to carry them on to others as long as we are hear on earth to share it. You brought us so close to so many amazing people that are so much a part of our life now, we don't know what we would do without them.

Now on a different note. Gracie misses you something fierce too so I hope you can find a way to give her the strength to grow from her time with you. I know you are playing with your new baby sister Pink and Squeaky cause she has the hardest time focusing on us when you are flying around daddy's shoulders! I'm sure you're wearing your pigtails and having a great time with all your new friends in heaven. We think about you always precious and long for the day that we are all together again as a family.

Love, Love...Love, Love

Daddy, Mommy, Big Sis Gracie, and Baby Sis Kaddy

DON'T FORGET...

Tomorrow is NATIONAL PIGGIE TAIL DAY in honor of Gabi!!! If she touched your life in any way, please remember her tomorrow and remember the thing that we love the most about her...her piggie tails. Ok maybe that's not the thing we love the most, but it one of our best memories! Mommy and Daddy love you pink and squishy!!!

Tropic Thunder...NO NO NO

I was gonna write a big old shpill and go on and on about this new movie but I have blogger friends who have done it for me. There are 2 links listed below I think are very important for anyone with a conscious to check out. Thank you!!!



The first link is an article that was written by a mom just like me, proud parent of Parker

http://www.5minutesforspecialneeds.com/217/once-upon-a-time-there-was-a-retard/


The second is a news report, the story is on a very special family...The Birds, Pam and Rhett are friends of me and Gabi

http://www.abc4.com/mediacenter/local.aspx?videoid=85719@video.ktvx.com

Thank you for those of you who said extra prayers for Papa. He made it home this morning and he is to be resting! Jason, Kins, and I plan to see him tonight. I did talk to Mema earlier and she said he is in some pain, which is to be expected, but he is doing well! If you would like full updates, hop on over to his blog... http://efacker.blogspot.com

Special Prayers for Papa

Today Papa Acker had surgery, the old fashion way I might add. He refers to this surgery as a roota-rooter. Not only did they go in and clean him out, but they wanted to see if the cancer has spread. He is out of surgery and doing well according to Mema, but we will not results for a bit. We/He would greatly appreciate a few extra prayers for him. He is a tough old guy, so we know things will be in his favor, but never hurts to have a few more prayers!

I sent Gabi on a special mission today. I talked to her about Papa and how important is was to be there with the doctors working on him as well as being there with him through the surgery and recovery. I know my girl and she is taking good care of him!

On a side note I wanted to mention Gracie went back to school today! It is so hard to believe she is in the 2nd grade already! She was super excited and ready to see all her friends. She wore the cutest little outfit, I had to show her off:) Love you kiddo, believe it or not I do miss you already!

Miss Kinsley continues to grow like a weed, here's a few cute pics I have been dying to post, she is soooooo stinkin adorable!!! I finally caught a couple of smiles on camera, she was laughing at her Daddy at the time...he is so silly!

Never take for granted...

Looking back at some of my favorite pictures of my sweet punky makes me happy. I can remember the moment I can remember everything about how amazing my baby girl was. It saddens me I can no longer have those moments today or tomorrow, but at least we did have the time we had! Gabi taught us so much about life, the thing I have learned throughout this entire experience is just how precious life is and to live in the moment...Give thanks for everyday we have together. Sorry I know I keep saying this over and over, but I cannot express enough just how important it is. So as you start your week off think about what kind of difference you can make in your kiddos lives. Think about the things you would want them to know if you could not see them again. It is a terrible thought, I know, but so can the end result if you choose to not share those feelings. That is one thing Jason and I know we did right with Gabi, she knew and felt every ounce of our love. We were there every step of the way, we fought with her just as she fought to be with us!

Gabi is sporting new shades that sissy bought her! She sure knew how to work the camera:)

We LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE you

Pink and Squishy!!!

Straight Strugglin'

Oh our precious Gabber Goo!!!

Everyday is a struggle for many reasons. I often wonder if we will ever get out of our current situation? We are both very determined and strong willed people I know we will, but how much more can we take. I hate to dwell on things that ultimately mean nothing in life, but when you can't seem to make any ground it is awfully difficult to think positive about anything! If you are the type of person who can't stand a little complaining this entry is not for you. I never intended this blog to become such an emotional book, but I never knew how life was going to be.

I layed in bed last thinking to myself about what people say to us on a daily basis, "How are you doing?" or "Wow, I can't believe it has been so long!" or "She (meaning Gabi) is looking down on you right now and she is so proud!" Of course we give the usual answers, we are doing good, I know it has been a long time and yes I know she is always around protecting us. But what I really want to say is that we are terrible. We don't talk about Gabi the way we used to, we don't remember the little things like we used to, we are not the strong parents everyone thinks we are. We are human, our hearts are broken. And it is the worse kind of broken you can imagine. We will never get to touch our first daughter again, we never got to hear her say her first words, watch her first steps, open presents at her first Christmas, tear into her first birthday cake...I could go on and on. I still have such a difficult time understanding why. I am so short tempered these days and I absolutely hate it! I have so much anger inside of me. I want to be that happy mommy I once was, but she is gone, forever! I have responsibilities with Gracie and Kinsley and I will still be the best I can be, but I often wonder how it would be if Gabi was still here. Poor Kins is gonna be so over protected, I hope she understands! And then Gracie she has been amamzing, but I hope she never feels like she is being short changed either.

I love our girls more than life itself, I just wish we had all 3 of our girls with us. It has been a long year, but even with that being said I can't believe how quickly time has passed. Last night I had to send an email with a picture of Gabi to the hospital for a Memorial Service that is being held in October. While Gabi was in the PICU I never once thought for a second this is the kind of email I'd be sending a year later. Unfortunately things do not always turn out the way you want, but you must keep moving forward. Learn from the past, take time to be thankful for the things in your life everyday...meaningful things! I cannot emphasize that enough. As much as I would love to go shop, have a good time out with my hubby, or spoil my girls...the things that truly mean the most is us just being able to spend time together. So honey, sorry for the frustration lately, but I miss you and spending time together is the only thing that is truly important to me! I know it will get better, but it always seems to get worse first! So I guess I will just sit tight and surely things will change soon, at least that is what I pray for.

Give those babies hugs and moochies everyday, don't just tell them you love them, mean it...let it show by your actions!

And as always...REMEMBER GABI!!!

TEAM GABI'S GRACE 2008

Just as we did last year, we will be participating in the 2008 Buddy Walk. This years walk will be October 18th. I am excited this year the walk will be in October...that is Down Syndrome Awareness Month! The Buddy Walk was established in 1995 by the National Down Syndrome Society to celebrate Octobers month of awareness. The walk is only 1 mile long. We had an incredible turn out last year. We raised over $1500, this year my goal is $1000. We had a team of over 25 who walked in memory of Gabi. We would love for anyone to join us for the walk. But if you are far or cannot make the date we would greatly appreciate any donation towards our team.
Every step we take, every dollar we raise will help ensure that each individual with Down syndrome in the United States will be able to do just that. Last year alone, over $5 million dollars was raised nation-wide for local and national education, research and advocacy programs. Locally, we raised over $300,000 to benefit more than 850 families in the greater Kansas City area.

Simply click on the link below and it will take you to our team page! Remember big or small, every donation counts!

http://www.syssolutions.com/KCBuddywalk/main/Team.aspx?FundraiserId=f424fc42-67cf-44df-bb1b-24b32b8a5ac5

If you do join our team you will receive a t-shirt with our team name, Gabi's Grace, on the back, you will also get lunch and there are lots of activities for the kiddo's...it's great fun!

Remembering Our Angel

This month I am going to focus on our little angel. You may ask why this month, well as hard as it is to believe, on the 20th it will have been a year since Gabi received her wings. What a long yet short year it has been. We lost our baby, found out we were pregnant, moved to Indiana, lost a job, moved in with my parents, had a beautiful healthy baby girl, and then finally moved back to Kansas back into our house. It seems as if we would be out from under it all, but things continue to challenge our lives. I never want to sound ungrateful for the things we do have, but things have been very very tough around our household lately and it would be nice for a bit of a break.

Jason finally found a job which he really enjoys. There is a new fitness club opening in Lawrence, Maximus, he is the General Manager. They are doing presales now, but come October things should really be boomin! So if you live in our area, make an appointment with him to check it out:) He is working crazy retail hours, so we hardly see each other. Which makes me sad cause we really got spoiled being around each other a lot and now we really miss each others company.

Kinsley went to the doctor yesterday for 3 shots...not fun, but she did surprisingly very well. She weighed in at 10 lbs. 11 oz. and she is now 22 3/4 in. long. She is growing like a weed and she gets cuter every second! She coos and giggles a lot, she smiles when smiled at, she focuses on object especially her silly daddy. They have a really cute little song and she smiles soooo big and giggles so hard when daddy sings it to her!

Gracie is getting ready to go back to school, she starts on the 13th. Seems like every year they start earlier. She is excited though. She is can't wait o be in her teachers class, although she wishes she could be in 1st grade again so she can go back to Gary's class:) I am sure she will see her plenty though in the halls, before and after school. She has been reading and practicing her sight words for 2nd grade. It has been a great summer, but we are all ready for school.As for me I am super excited for the perks of Jason's new job, I get a free membership, so come October, I will be a gym junkie! It is about time I get my butt back into shape, among other things:)

Now most importantly my angel, GABI...
I wonder what she is doing right this second? I wonder how often she visits me and the rest of our family? I wonder how long her piggies are? I wonder if her favorite color is still pink? I wonder if she still gets pedi's and paints her pigs pink? I hope she is serving as the best President the Piggie Tail Club has ever seen. I am convinced she has lots of friends and she helps many like Angel Jack, Angel Brenlee, and Angel Ava. I hope she knows just how much Daddy and I miss her every single day. We wish we could hold her, hug her, smell her, kiss her all over! It is so hard to believe how much time has passed since we last held our baby, but we thank God everyday for the time we did have with her. We were once touched by an angel, how many of you can say that? She has been the reason Jason and I have not given up. We have faced many many challenges in this last year, but her will to fight and keep going gives us strength we never knew existed in ourselves. This month I will share some of my inner most feelings about the baby I once held and will continue to love her forever and ever. Be prepared with a box of tissues, cause I am sure we will all need them!

I do have one request on August 20th will you please put your kids in piggies for Gabi. And if you want take a picture and send them to me. It may sound silly, but I can't imagine remembering her any other way. I know many of you still follow our family very closely, thank you! The continued support definitely helps with each passing day.

I AM DECLARING AUGUST 20th,

NATIONAL PIGGIE DAY, IN MEMORY OF OUR PRECIOUS ANGEL, GABI