Daddy's Here!

First off...Hello to everyone! haha. I know that I have not been the best about putting entries on here since Gabi passed. In all honesty it's a little difficult. This was my outlet to keep the world informed on how much of a fighter our little girl was. I was able to talk about how strong and beautiful she was, how incredible a little pee pee, and lower heart rate was ;-). Well now that she is gone what can I say to the world about the strength of my baby? Well let me see if I can come up with something...

1. She gave her mother and father the strength to take a chance to create a better life for our family.
2. Her mommy has found strength in her to enjoy and love the new baby growing inside her now.
3. Her sister has become a more appreciative girl of time with family.
4. Her daddy goes to her every day for strength and hope that he is making the right decisions to take care of our family.
5. She has introduced us to life long friends that will always impact our lives.
6. She gives mommy and daddy the strength to communicate and work through every feeling together, to stay as strong and loving as a family as we can.

Every day Gabi still impacts our lives. Whether it is to reflect on the things that made us happy, sad, or angry and to embrace those feelings and express them. To remember to apprecaite all the little things in the world that could be gone tomorrow. To give all of our loved ones an extra kiss or hug before we go. To take a chance in life, do the things that make us happy, and to love like it's your last moment on earth. And even as hard as it is somedays to put our faith and love in God. Even though we may question why on a constant basis, we still know it is his plan and his will that things happened exactly the way they did for a reason. To remember that even though we may question the why and even get angry at times, he knows that we still love him because he will always love us!

Ok...there is my entry for the next 3 months...LOL. Just kidding, I will do better at putting more on here. I promise to make the next entry more entertaining than this one!

So as a famous man says on a repeated basis "This is Jason Acker until next time...Goooood Day!"

Love
Jason, Micah, Gracie, Angel Gabi, Belly Bean Baby Acker

Way to Long...

I feel like I have been hiding or something. This weekend we packed like crazy in KS. Poor Gracie didn't have much fun time with us, but we sure tried to make packing fun...if that is even possible:) I had her go through her things and get rid of stuff she doesn't play with...out with the old, make room for the new. Christmas is just around the corner! Anyways for the first time ever she filled an entire box on her own of things she wants to donate to other kids. She has such a big heart, we were so proud of her!

Yesterday was a really rough day at church. We hadn't been in a while and the message really got to me. I couldn't stop crying! Basically it was about prayer and how we need to come together as christian and pray, I find this to be very difficult lately. I do not doubt that there was a reason for Gabi coming and going so quickly, but it breaks my heart. It makes me question a lot and ask why alot. Needless to say yesterday was a tear jerker all day...oh I miss my angel so much!

Today was much better though, no tears...but the day is not over! I miss my babies daddy, he had to go back to Indy today. Can't wait to see him on friday!

My Angel is Near...

This picture is for Papa Acker, it's his favorite! Check out those B-E-A-U-tiful blue eyes...

Oh punky, we miss you so much...the pain is not getting any easier and I am starting to wonder if it ever will???

I have been thinking about this for a while now. One of the gifts we received after Gabi passed was a beautiful wind chime, from Mike and Whitney. Well I finally made Jason hang it on Sunday. It is hanging on our porch and let me tell you, the thing has not stopped making noise. Everytime I hear it it is gives me a warm fuzzie feeling. I can hear it throughout the entire complex...hope the neighbors don't mind and I say oh well if they do, it is very theraputic for me. In fact the other night it was raining and we had our bedroom windows cracked, I fell asleep to the chimes. I know Gabi is near and hearing the chime reassures that!

A Risky Test

I called the doctor's office today to get some information on the CVS test that I am scheduled for on the 2nd. When I scheduled the test, my mind wasn't thinking of the questions I have come up with since. The only information I was given was that this test will show if their are any abnormalities in the baby's chromosomes. I had no idea the procedure and if there were any risks. I should have known better, oh course there are risks. Today I spoke to the nurse and she told me it is even more risky than an amnio...and I did know the risks of that. So I went on to ask what exactly is the procedure...another needle, just like the amnio, but more pain and it takes longer, sometimes several tries before they get the proper amount of fluid. She asked why I chose this plan? And did I plan on terminating the pregnancy based on the results. The first thing I said was ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! I chose this because this is what the doctor suggested. I want this baby no matter what issues may or may not be there. I told her I needed to speak to my husband because of the risk of losing the baby. I would much rather not know than risk the chance of losing this little angel. I told her I had already made up my mind and wanted to cancel, but wanted to run it by him. As soon as I starting telling Jason, he stopped me and said cancel. I just love him so much, I knew that is what he would say, but he didn't even let me finish before he said the exact same thing I told the nurse. This is how I know he is my perfect match, we are just right there with each other. I am so blessed and I thank God everyday that he brought Jason into my life...I love you baby!!!
Anyways, needless to say I have canceled the appointment. This means they will just keep a closer watch on the baby's development given my history. Later in the pregnancy there are other test that can and will be done, but nothing to risky!
I also found a doctor in Indy, I made my first appt. today. Just talking to the receptionist has already made me feel good about this place. She was super nice and very helpful and just kept telling me how wonderful the doctors are in the practice, especailly the one I will be seeing! My next appt. is Nov. 5th

So prayers for the baby's health, daddy's new job (which is going great), and my crazy appetite ( I have been eating like crazy, I am afraid to see how much I gain this time).

Love to all...

Gracie, Your steppy, Daddy, and Sadi miss you tons...Daddy and I can't wait to see you this weekend!!!

2 Months to the Day

Can you believe that it has been 2 months, I can't! I feel like I am still just waiting to bring her home from the hpospital. In all actuality it has been 4 months since she has been home. WOW!!! Now that is hard to believe, I feel like life is in fast forward. Today I want everyone to give their children an extra hug and kiss from Gabi. In honor of my angel, tell your children they have a very special little angel watching over them:) Oh Gabbers Daddy and I miss you terribly! Love you PINK and SQUISHY!!!

Today Jason and I are going downtown Indy for the first time. Well kind of, last night we got tickets to the Pacers game. It was actually really fun. We had club seat, we had our own waitress and everything. Aaaahhhhh, the perks of working for a big company. Jason is working on getting tickets to the Colts, Chiefs game. Now that I am really excited for, I have never been to a NFL game and to go to a game like the Colts, holy buckets!!! Ok, now I am geting a little silly, so I will go for now. Sorry I haven't posted to many pictures lately, I have tons to share, but something is wrong with the old laptop...darn technology!

Hope all has a fantastic weekend. Love to all!

31 for 21

I remember this song years ago thinking how courageous that little boy was. It always brought tears to my eyes and now more than ever it will forever have a special meaning to me. If we allow our children to believe they can accomplish anything they can and they will. The sky is the limit, it is not far to put limitations on what the mind can do. I know that Gabi will continue to accomplish great things in heaven as she did her on earth. She opened our hearts and minds and she will forever be in our hearts. Thank you angel for all that you gave mommy and daddy! We love you and miss you so so much!

Standing Outside the Fire

Seven Months, One Week, One Day

My mom's best friends granddaughter wrote this poem. Let me give you a little on her, Madison Christie is 12 years old. I have known her her whole life, she is an amazing young lady. She wrote a poem for us and I just got it last week, talk about a tear jerker and for such a young lady she sure knows how to get to my heart. Thanks Madison! We will have to get together soon, love you!!

Seven months, one week, one day,
In my arms I watch you lay.
Your tiny hand around my finger,
Around your crib at night I lingered.

Seven months, one week, one day,
I cannot think of much to say,
All I know is that I miss you,
And wish right now that I could kiss you.

Seven months, one week, one day,
I wonder why you could not stay,
It's not the same without you near,
We wish that somehow you were here.

Seven months, one week, one day,
This ia all I can say,
Please know how much we love you,
And someday we'll be home too.

Author~ Madison Christie

I want to post a ton of pictures, but something is wrong with the system right now. It may have something to do with the fact I am picking up a signal from the apartment complex and it is very weak. We get our internet and cable hooked up this afternoon, so hopefully then I can post pics!

Indy

I still haven't gone by the post office to do our change of address, but other than that it is official, we have moved. The apartment is in shambles right now. The kitchen is the only thing that is put together and we have groceries. I don't remember if I mentioned this already or not, but we only moved the smaller things. We did not bring any of our furniture, so that is what I have been searching for here. We did find a couch yesterday...it is a 2 piece sectional, I have never been a fan of those, but we found a really good deal and it has a big leather ottoman, which is exactly what we were looking for. We found a dining set too, but no way to load it up so Jason is gonna see if someone from work can help with that. Ok enough furniture talk...

With all that is going on in our lives I have definitely stayed busy and side tracked! Although I gotta tell you all, I sure miss my Gabbers! We didn't bring a ton of her stuff this time, but you should see all the framed pictures I have of her...you would think I was obsessed or something. There is nothing wrong with showing off my baby girl though! Anyways I have found a bit of comfort these days knowing she is still with us in spirit, I just would give anything to look into those big blue eyes and hug her, and love her, and squeeze her, and kiss her all over!

Not Much Time

We have been extremely busy. We are officially moving tomorrow to Indianapolis. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate moving, or I should say packing. This week flew by and of course I was not motivated and waited till the last minute to pack up. We filled the rental as much as we could, but we left quit a bit behind. Jason is taking off around 1am and I am flying out at 9am. Original plan we for both of us to fly, but then we realized we needed to bring our belongings...imagine that needing stuff! Anyways I stuck with the original plan and Jason will drive. I feel bad, but he doesn't mind to much. The next time we are back, we will just continue to fill suitcases to get the rest of our stuff there.

I had a good weekend. Yesterday was Missouri Valley College Homecoming, of course I went to meet up with my friends. It was a nice little get away, but I missed Jason and Gracie a ton. they stayed at home and packed. I will post pictures at a later time...camera and cord are packed away:) Beth, Jen, and I had a blast being together again back in Marshall is always special to us. I sure miss my girls! Many of my sorority sisters came back for the occasion, always a good time had by all. Some girls I haven't seen in a while, it was so good to catch up! We always have t-shirts made and this year the girls included a butterfly on the design for my little angel, they have no idea how much that means to me...thanks girls!

It maybe a few days due to the move before I get back on here, but do not give up on me. When I return I have a very special poem I want to post from a very special little girl! Stay tuned!!!

Love to All...

May 20, 2008

The picture isn't that great, but it is the first one and I had to share!


It is official Jason got his confirmation today when I went to my doctor's appointment. My due date is May 20th!!! Because of our history with Gabi we will do some test early on to determine if the baby has any abnormalities in its chromosomes. That test will take place in a few weeks, so we will anxiously await for results.


When I saw my litttle bean, I could see the heart beat right away, I fell in love all over again! I am 8 weeks, whihc means this baby was conceived before Gabi passed. So it is true her spirit left her body and is now coming back in a healthy body!


Dear Lord, please put your hands on this new baby that it will be heathly and an amazing little ball of fire just like its big sisters!!!





Love to all!

Uuuuuuggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

Well today was the big day for my doctors appointment. My appt. was schedule at 11, I arrived promptly at 10:30, I needed to fill out paperwork. So I gave the receptionist my name and she responded with, "You're appt. was at 10." There is no way I could of gotten this wrong, I have been counting down for 3 weeks. So she goes back to speak with the nurse, she comes back out and then asks if I had my paperwork, I said "No, I never got it" and she looks at me as if I was an idiot...not what I want to be feeling at this point. She asks if I can come back next week...no, friday...no, how about tomorrow at 11...Yeah, I guess. I absolutely cannot believe this woman was so rude. I admit I made the mistake, but come on it was only a half and hour and I never even got a reminder call or the paperwork with the reminder card. I am so frustrated! Laurie told me this was a great doctors office, but she forgot to mention they are not the nicest people up front. Can't blame her, oh course she was hoping I'd have a pleasant experience. I called her and we griped about it...she said it's happened to her before. I just wish when people sign up to do a job like a receptionist they would realize people make honest mistakes and they shouldn't make them feel bad, especially when those people are pregnant women!!!

I wanted to tell her to be nice or else I'd hop over the counter and hurt her, but what good would that do, then I'd be just as obnoxious as her! So I kept apologizing and I have an appt. tomorrow, wish me better luck then! All this excitement about today and I screw it up....uuuugggghhhhhh!!!

Prom fit for a King or Queen...

Our Prom Princess!!!







KC Down Syndrome Guild holds an annual prom. With the help of 175 volunteers, the DSG welcomed 400 guests with various disabilities (Down syndrome, Autism, Cerebral Palsy, Spina Bifida, Traumatic Brain Injury) for a fabulous evening of dinner, dancing and fun. One of our local news stations covered the event. Watch the video by clicking on the link below. Every little girls dreams can come true, watch this story!!!

http://www.myfoxkc.com/myfox/pages/Home/Detail;jsessionid=FFC33AF6473C0BB1A8BF0300AB44801B?contentId=3189732&version=1&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=VSTY&pageId=1.1.1&sflg=1

Things to Remember...

Today I went to my first group meeting for parents who have lost a child. Talk about a club you never want to be a part of. It breaks my heart that I was there, but it felt so good to talk about my little angel. There were 2 others moms there, but my mommy came with me I was really glad she was there. The other women have such amazing strength, but it is so hard to relate when everything is still so new and unrealistic...I kept thinking the whole time...I DO NOT BELONG HERE! I want to go home and see my baby, hold her in my arms, snuggle with her in bed, kiss her all over, squeeze her little tushy!

Mommy, I love you so much, thanks for always being there for me! You're the best!

Before the meeting mom and I went up to visit Chelsea, and of course it made my day. Chelsea has such a beautiful smile, and Carey well I don't think I even need to say, she is amazing. It was the first time my mom really met Chel, she feel in-love with ehr instantly...who doesn't?
After the meeting I had to take some toys that made it home with us after our stay to the PICU. Nurse Shelia and Debbie were working. We got to visit with Shelia briefly, unfortunately we were ready to go and Debbie was busy, so we left. Sorry Debbie, we love you though:)

So tonight I want to leave you with this...
Remember Gabi:
her contagious smile,
her sparkling personality,
her big beautiful eyes,
her amazing spirit,

Most importantly remember her and how she brought so much love into so many lives!!!


I love you angel!

P.S. Happy Birthday Great Papa Bowles, we love you!!!

7 Weeks Later...

I have to admit last night was terrible. Jason was gone and I was all alone. But I have an incredible friend who did help me get through my night...Megan, Bella's Mommy. I had left a comment on her blog and of course it was emotional, she called immediately. I just love her so much, I told Jason tonight I have a new best friend. She gets me in a way no one else does, although there are some things she doesn't understand and I pray she never...by the way Bella is doing great! Anyways her and I have so much we want to do with our foundations, they have started one as well. So we have somethings we are working on, hopefully in time for Christmas, keep checking the blog for details as it gets closer. WE will definitely need everyone's help to make it a special Christmas for the sick kids at Childrens Mercy!

Anyways, thank you Megan I couldn't of gotten through the night without you! Love you!!!

And so my friends I leave you with this beautiful poem my sister in-law gave to me...












Our Little Angel

You were our little angel
we loved to hold you so close,
the softness of your baby skin
like petals of a rose.

We loved it when we cuddled you
and held you in our arms,
You were our little angel
with sweet angelic charms.

We think back to memories
so precious and so few,
for one day God had chosen you
to be His little angel too.
~ Anne Peterson

Gabriele Sheridan, Mommy and Daddy love you so much and we can't wait to see you again!!!

Our special song...

You are my sunshine My only sunshine.
You make me happy When skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear, How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away

The other nite, dear, As I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you in my arms.
When I awoke, dear, I was mistaken
And I hung my head and cried.

You are my sunshine, My only sunshine.
You make me happy When skys are grey.
You'll never know, dear, How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away.


I still sing to my angel often, this was what I call her favorite song, except I only sang her the chorus. I don't know that I ever knew the rest of the song, but once I found it tonight, I realized just how much more of a meaning it has to me now. Oh how I miss my suinshine! I love you punky...xoxo

The Simple Truth

Sleeping Beauties!!!

The first time I watched this video I cried, who am I kidding I cry everytime I watch it. It just makes you realize no matter who we are we can all make a differnece. I attached the link to the video, please take a few minutes out of your day to enjoy this beautiful story about one boy who wanted to make a difference!

http://www.stservicemovie.com/

Did you know...

One in every 733 babies born in the U.S. has Down syndrome. The life expectancy of people with Down syndrome has increased dramatically in recent decades - from 25 in 1983 to 56 today. In that same span of time, advancements in education, research and advocacy have had a tremendous impact on the opportunities that individuals with Down syndrome have to live healthy and fulfilling lives. Today, many people with Down syndrome:

~Attend neighborhood schools and learn in typical classes alongside their peers without disabilities.
~Graduate from high school and go to college.
~Comprise a vibrant part of the American workforce.
~Actively participate in the social and recreational aspects of their communities.
~Live independently, make their own choices, and advocate for their rights.

What would happen if people with Down syndrome ruled the world?

If people with Down syndrome ruled the world:

Affection, hugging and caring for others would make a big comeback.

All people would be encouraged to develop and use their gifts for helping others.

People would be refreshingly honest and genuine.

People engaged in self talk would be considered thoughtful and creative. Self talk rooms would be reserved in offices and libraries to encourage this practice.

The words “hurry” and “fast” would be not be uttered in polite society. “Plenty of time” would take their place.

If only we could all love life so much that we could enjoy the simple things!!! Gabi sure taught me a thing or two...Thanks baby girl! Mommy misses you more and more everyday, I love you punky...XOXO

Down Syndrome Creed

My face may be different but my feelings are the same. I laugh and I cry and I take pride in my gains. I was sent here among you to teach you to love, as God in the heavens look down from above. To Him, I'm no different His love knows no bounds; It's those here among you in the cities and towns, that judge me by standards that man has imparted, but this family I've chosen, will help me get started. For I'm one of the children so special and few, that came here to learn the same lessons as you. That love is acceptance, it must come from the heart; we all have the same purpose, though not the same start. The Lord gave me life to live and embrace and I'll do it as you do, just at my own pace. ~Author Unknown

When I first read this poem it touched my heart, but as I have become more involved in such a wonderful community I realize just how true it is. So many people said how sorry they were that Gabi had down syndrome when we first found out and of course we cried for the lose of our "normal" child. But through this journey I have learned that she was every bit as special if not more special just because of her way she taught so many to embrace life and love...LOVE ALL THINGS!!! She was and always will be my most precious gifts, so today I reflect on how something that is different can be that most amazing gift of all. I am so proud of my angel and how she has made life a better place for me, her daddy, and our entire family!

A Day to Remember...

Today is the beginning of Down Syndrome Awareness Month...



A large group of us will be posting specail things to help celebrate this month, check out the blog listed on my side bar!




Remember our little angel, she brought so much joy to our lives and made us better people. My sweet baby girl we do miss you dearly, but we would of rather had a short time with you than never having you at all. You redefined life for so many...I love you punky!!!






Today was a really rough day. I actually put away some of Gabi's things. It still seems so soon, but I had to get organized. I tried to pretend I was just putting away clothes that don't fit anymore and I was getting out fall clothes...that only worked for a few minutes. I did not totally get rid of things, put her clothes in storage bins, put her blankies in a trunk we have in our room, and organized some toys and nick knacks. It definitely was no my idea of fun, but it felt good touching all of her stuff again. I put away all the clothes she never wore, her favorite clothes and special outfits are still hanging in the closet. I found some things I haven't seen in a while, like the bag of hair from her first haircut...it was just a trim from Mimi, but I still kept the hair. It made me realize just how lucky we were to of had so many firsts with her even at only 7 months.


As if that wasn't enough emotion for one day, as I was finishing Jason came in to tell me, he got the job in Indiana, soooooooooooooo we're moving. it will not happen immediately, we will lots of time for transition, plus we will always be back every other weekend to visit Gracie. So for those of you close to us reading this I am sorry we haven't been in touch yet, everything is happening so quickly. We will be on the road to Indiana tomorrow. Jason starts Wednesday and we are driving, I am going to check out apartments or whatever I find. We definitely do not want to mortgages, so until we sell in KS we will not buy in IN. The town Jason is working in is Carmel, just north of Indianapolis. As sad and scared as I am, I am relieved no more stress about work. Even though we will be far from family we will be back tons and we can make it work. I am so proud of Jason he is finally taking a job he is excited about. This adventure of running our own company has been exciting, but it is just not good timing for all and all that we have been dealt. I am looking forward to a new city, but I will terribly miss everyone at home.

Then after all the emotions of moving we went to visit Chelsea up at the hospital. Carey has mentioned in her blog lately how they can tell the chemo is in her system she has been acting sick, not her happy little self. Well as soon as we walked in the door her face lite up and she was so playful. We were so happy to see her. We had a great talk with Ryan and Carey. Ryan went home for the first time tonight, that was rough. He is such an amazing daddy to Chelsea. It was sad to see him go, but Logan needs him too! We stayed to visit with Carey and Chelsea for a bit after Ryan left. I think Chelsea has a thing for Jason she is such a flirt around him, it is so cute to watch them play. We had a great visit with Carey she plans on speaking up a bit more, they have been told they would be with one doctor and now they are changing doc's and with no say...frustrating when you are just starting to get comfortable with one then they want to switch things on you...so hopefully tomorrow she will speak to the right people to get some answers...

Go Carey Go!!!


Enjoy a few more pics of one happy girl... she loves making silly faces:)