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Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Daddy's Love

This has by far been the most emotional day of our lives. As a father you natural role is to be the protector, the one who can defeat any monster or boogy man. The one that no matter how scared your child may be can make them feel safe. You are the one that when your wife needs a rock to hold her up you are always there. Most men will gladly accept this role with honor and as every man knows that has taken on this role there are times when things become so heavy that you the rock...can crack.

I could not hold up any more today and I cracked. I feel so helpless to see my littlest angel fight for her life and there is nothing I can do to help make it better. All I can do is talk to her, hold her hand, and kiss her head. I'm struggling to be strong for Micah as I myself am having a hard time not thinking about the what if's with my baby. At first I felt like I had failed in my role to protect, support, and take the pain away for my girls. As I grow as a father though I am realizing that I have to let myself feel the emotions as well otherwise I will truly fail my family. I love everyone in my family so much but as a father and a man you will never experience pain and emotion like seeing one of your own lying in a bed and not knowing the outcome.

We have put our faith in God, Friends, Family, the Doctors, and of course Gabi. We have come to terms that all we can do is pray for our angel, lean on our friends and family, rely on what the docotrs do and tell us, and trust that Gabi has so much fight in her that she will pull through no matter how hard things get.

Again, thank you so much for your prayers and well wishes as they help us get through the day to know that so many people are praying for her and us in our time of need. We feel truly blessed and love knowing we have such strong support behind us. No matter the outcome we know that we will always have a foundation under us that no matter whether we both crack we will always have people to hold us up and put us back together!

Thank You!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey Jason...I gotta say that Im almost at a loss for words here. I can not even imagine the thoughts and feelings that you are going through. I think you are one of the toughest people Ive ever known. Despite that fact, no one is made to carry the load by themselves. Every single person who checks in here cares about you, Micah and Gabi. We are hear to help you carry that load. There is no need to feel like a failure or less of a man. You have already done more for Micah, Gabi and Gracie than words can ever explain. Im VERY proud to have you as my friend. Keep your head up and and spirits high. I had a friend who was on life support for a while in Iowa. When he came out of it all he said he could hear us when we talked in his room. Talk to that lil girl...Im sure she wants to hear her mama and daddy's voices.

Mike

Anonymous said...

Gabi's family
Know that you are in our thoughts and prayers
Karl and Judy

Ben said...

I cant even imagine what you are going through, there are so many things that people can say to try and comfort you right now, but the only true comfort is trusting in God and knowing and believing that he will make everything perfect with you baby girl. I look at my girls and it brings tears to my eyes just thinking about what you are having to deal with. It makes you even more of a man and father to admit that this ordeal has affected you the way it has. It shows your true love for your daughter....Let me know if you need anything at all!!! I am here 24/7..

Ben

Anonymous said...

Jason, you are the strongest man when it comes to obstacles such as these. You are doing everything you can for your little girl and your wife. You are the farthest thing from a failure and they know it and so does Gracie Girl. This is when you have to accept the fact that you do not have control and it is NOT a bad thing. God has control of situations like this and he will handle it the way it needs to be handled. In the meantime you stay strong for YOURSELF, Micah, Gracie, Gabi and the rest of the family.

Morgan