Under Construction!!!

With much consideration I have decided to finally give our blog a new look. Once I start a project of this nature I make it a priority to get it finished as soon as possible. But I gotta tell ya, it is going to be a lot of work, so please be patient...I promise it will be worth it though:) Hope everyone is enjoying the weekend. Jason and Gracie are at the Indy Race today, usually I get to go, but kind of hard when I am soooooo pregnant...next year:)

The Ultimate Gift

Lately I have been catching up on all the movie's I wanted to watch but haven't had time for. My in-laws have a collection of dvd's that could compete with blockbuster, so thank you Phyllis for keeping me entertained lately:) Anyways with that being said today I watched The Ultimate Gift. If you haven't seen it you should, I must warn you though it is a tear jerker, but one everyone can appreciate.

Brief summary: A billionaire dies and he wants to leave his grandson most of the money, but he wants to teach him a lesson in life before he can inherit the money. So he gives him several tasks along the way he must complete and in the end he will receive the ultimate gift. Wow, that is the best summary I have ever given without going on and on...hahaha!!!

This movie really got me thinking about my own life. Many of you who read this blog don't really know who I was, you just know who I have become. When I was growing up we always had nice things. My parents made sure we had what we wanted, especially mom we would shop all the time. Some would call it spoiled, but I called it necessary, at the time. I always had designer names, good reliable cars, and among many other things a nice house that I grew up in. I was always appreciative to my parents, but pretty much not so nice to others. I was in the popular crowd, I was a cheerleader, and if you weren't part of my group, I basically didn't know who you were. So as you can see, I was not a very nice person. Although I will say I was very loyal to my friends, I would do absolutely anything for them. My family has always been very special to me. I have always felt like I had a big heart for those I surrounded myself with.

Once I got into college I realized those things didn't matter as much, but I still wanted the name brand and things to show off. I ask myself why? That is not what defines a person, but at the time that is what I thought mattered the most. I had a lot of friends in college, everyone knew who I was...the short cheerleader. Yes I did cheer in college and boy I gotta tell ya, that helped me grow in many ways. Obviously I was that girl on top of all the pyramids, so I had to trust everyone below me. I learned to trust people that I never thought would even care if I landed on my head. But as a team we learned discipline, trust, and the true meaning of teamwork. Things started to become a little more clear to me about life. It most definitely was not all about me and the designer names, it was about loving and supporting those around you.

Then after graduating college I moved out of the house for the first time. It was not your typical move across town, I moved 9 hours away from home to Kentucky. I had gotten a job opportunity I could not pass up. Holy crap, 9 hours, what was I thinking I was all alone, the only thing I had were material things and they provided me no happiness what so ever! I quickly made a few friends and realized that is what brought me happiness, not all the nice things I had. It was never truly enough though I missed my family to much, so I decided a year and a half later to move back to KC.

Moving back to KC was one of the best decision I ever made. It took about 2 years, but that is when I met Jason. Jason and I instantly connected. It was as if we had been waiting to meet each other our whole lives. People thought we were crazy, and from the outside it sure did look that way, but we knew it right away, we were in love. It was the kind of thing that only happened in fairy tales. I mean within 2 weeks of knowing each other we knew exactly where it was gonna go. We had a few bumps along the way, but that was only cause we were scared how perfect things were...mostly him more than me. He had been married once before. They were both very young and quickly learned each other wanted different things in life. They did have Gracie and she is one amazing little girl, so we are all very thankful she came from the "young love".

11 months had passed and we were going strong. Jason had been offered a job in Iowa and I supported him 100%, we decided to move. This time it was only 2 and 1/2 hours away. We moved Memorial Day weekend. Before we left Jason arranged for our families to get together for a farewell dinner. Little did I know what he was up to, Gracie asked me at dinner if I would marry her Daddy...OF COURSE!!! This is where things get real interesting real fast...Friday engaged, Saturday we moved, and Sunday we found out I was pregnant. Oh my goodness, pregnant! We had talked about it but we just gotten engaged and moved and had so much going on. At that moment I cried, Gracie wanted to know why I was crying, daddy told her she was gonna be a big sister. She was soooooo excited and Jason was excited, so naturally I was relieved and excited as well. Little did we know that this little tiny baby would change our lives in a way that no child we had ever known effected the lives of others. June 7, 2006, a week later Jason and I were married in the courthouse, I needed the insurance. Then September 8, 2006, we had a ceremony for all of our family and friends

September 11, 2006 our lives changed forever. We received a phone call saying that they had confirmed through numerous test our baby girl, Gabi, had down syndrome. Talk about a heartbreaking moment, the thought of our child being different and not being about to fix it, wow...that was a lot for us to take in. We quickly began to educate our selves and although our fears were still there we felt better. We had been hand picked by God to care for one of his special children. We realized it would not be easy, but if he thought we could do it, then we knew we could get pass the unknown. We were ready to accept the challenge. Besides how hard could it be??? With that being said Jason and I thought it would be best to move back to KC, we wanted to be near our family and friends, after all we needed their emotional support more than ever. We were so excited about what God had given us, but still feared the unknown.

This is the part where we realize what our ultimate gift was. Gabi was born January 12, 2007. She was the part of our life we never knew was missing until she arrived. Having her in our arms made it seem as if nothing else in the world mattered. She was absolutely perfect in our eyes. How could an innocent child be anything but that though? Although our time with her here on earth was short, we learned more about life in those short 7 months than most who get to spend a lifetime with their children. The very moment I laid my eyes on her for the first time I realized that everything I thought was important to me in my life leading up to this, meant absolutely nothing.

At that moment I could not believe that I had been so shallow almost my entire life. The things I thought were important, were nothing. I cannot believe I actually thought you could provide happiness for yourself with material things. Of course I knew all along it was temporary happiness, but it was satisfying to me, how pathetic right?!? Time passed with Gabi and everyday was more precious than the day before. Of course we had no idea our time was limited, but while she was in the hospital we spent everyday as if it was a gift. The gifts that God knew were so important he was teaching us: the Gift of work, money, friends, learning, problems, family, laughter, dreams, giving, gratitude, a new day, and most importantly love. And together all of these become the ULTIMATE GIFT. Gabi was right there in my arms, taking her last breath and we knew just how blessed we were. Our lives would forever be changed and all for the better because of this one tiny little perfect angel.

I guess the whole reason I wanted to explain myself is because I am a better person because of my precious Gabi. She taught me that although I do occasionally like nice new things, they have no true value in life. Life is so precious and the things you truly love can be gone in the blink of an eye. So when your feeling down about things think about Gabi. Think about the fight my 7 month old went through just to spend a little bit more time with her mommy and daddy. Think of what her daddy and I have learned about life. People are amazed at how easily we let things roll off our backs, but it is because of Gabi that we are able to do so. We have a lot of bills, not enough money, we are living with my parents right now, our dog lives with my brother and sister in law...things are definitely how we want, but as long as we have each other we know we will get through it. Of course we worry and stress about things, but not for long...honestly what good does that do for anyone, just creates more problems. We have excepted that we cannot control all things around us, but we do know that with God all things are possible. We have a very special angel watching over us and for that we are thankful!

I apologize this entry is so long, but it was important to me to explain myself and who I was and who I have become. I love my life! Obviously I miss my daughter, but she still brings me so much pride and joy. Sometimes it takes years and years before people really figure out what life is really all about, and sometimes never...but for us we know and we thank Gabi for being our ULTIMATE GIFT!

Gymnastics and 27 days to go...

Impressive for a 7 year old...she has a future in cheerleading and tumbling, at least that is what I hope for:)

Last night Jason and I traveled to Topeka to watch Gracie at gymnatics. Since she has joined a new group, we have not been able to observe. Her coach is a great teacher and realizes that parents can be a distraction, so every 8 weeks we are allowed to watch. Tonight was our first since she has advanced. I gotta tell ya, the girl has got skills. Hopefully through all the training she will be going through she still sees it as something fun. She has such great potential and loves it at this point. I just fear she will get burnt out if she is pushed to hard. Her mommy and daddy do a great job talking to her about it. We will definitely be able to tell if it gets to be to much, she hasn't mastered the concept of being able to hide the truth...I just love the innocence of a child:) Anyways I had to show off a few pics I took last night, we are just so proud of her!!!

Today I had my 36 week check, no major changes there. I am still only dilated to a 1, but I have effaced 25%...that is encouraging, but we still have a ways to go! Miss Kinsley will come when she is ready and we cannot wait! Last night at gymnastics there was a woman there with a 7 week old girl, she let me hold her. It didn't last long, she knew a stranger was holding her. Kinsley didn't like it either, she kicked at the baby when she was resting on my tummy! Funny how she could sense someone else taking her mommy time away from her...silly girl. Anyways, holding that baby made me so excited to get to hold Kins all the time. I don't care what daddy says, she will definitely be a momma's girl! Here are yesterdays shots of us!

Gabi on my mind...

It simply amazes me how each day we go on. Gabi was 7 months and 8 days when she received her wings, that was 8 months ago today. It breaks my heart to think that we are not able to spend precious moments with our little girl. But knowing that she is in the only other place I'd rather her be, with God, helps ease the pain. I feel like so many times I repeat myself when I speak of her, but I just cannot tell you enough how much we hurt inside. A piece of us is gone we will never get back here on earth, but someday in a wonderful place, she will be the first one to greet us. We will have the best tour guide there is:) And until that time comes we will always REMEMBER GABI!!!

WE LOVE YOU PINK AND SQUISHY! I can only imagine how long those piggies are now:)

The Hawaiian Princess and her Luau

Tuesday was a big day for Miss Gracie, Hawaiian Princess:) The entire first grade put on a musical program with a luau theme. The kids sang 6 songs and all dressed to impress. I gotta tell ya though Gracie was by far the cutest one up there on that stage. On the last song she even had a special part, she was the pink love flower. The picture in the gymnasium turned out pretty dark, but you'll get the idea. Gracie was so excited that so many people came to watch her. Mommy and Chance, along with her Mema and Papa Kitchen. And from our side of the family, Daddy and me, along with Mema and Papa Acker. There is one thing for sure she had the biggest crowd:) Her and Daddy kept making silly faces at each other. She was concentrating so hard on her songs, that she'd forget to smile...to much to remember!

Gracie, Daddy and I are so proud of you...you did an awesome job! We cannot wait till summertime, we are gonna have so much fun. And Kinsley will be here and you will get to love her and hug her and squeeze her and call her...we will have to come up with another name huh? Oh and I will be sure to save the dirty diapers for you to change...hahaha!!!

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE

Gabi Lives On

Ok, my turn and yes I should apologize for taking so long as usual, but it makes the entries more exciting when they're spread out doesnt' it? haha

I titled this Gabi lives on because that is the goal of this blog, of the foundation, and everything else we do to help. As I said at her service I don't want her fight and strength to go unnoticed or be forgotten in a short time. Gabi has already taught so many people so much and her memory has helped many families in need. Our goal is to have her story continue to spread and continue to reach more people around the world. So please don't stop reading, please don't stop referring people to our blog or foundation. Not to mention Micah and I are both more than happy to talk to anyone if you feel our story would help someone you know.

So with that being said we have some very exciting news and we need everyones help. First Downs for Down Syndrome is having their annual Golf Tournament this year July 14th. Last year we raised almost $1,800 and were the only people to sponsor a whole in an individuals name. So first thank you to everyone that helped last year, that was such an incredible thing for Micah and I as parents of such a wonderful child to do. And we know we wouldn't of been able to do it without you!

This year we have actually talked to Amy with FDFDS, and she is willing to allow us to set up a table this year on the whole that we will be sponsoring to hand out bands and flyers about Gifts of Gabi's Grace to raise awareness. We can't solicite for funds because it is not our event, but we can raise awareness and reach more people with our story so a big thank you to Amy and FDFDS. To do this though we need you're help again. Our goal this year is to raise $2,500 so we can sponsor a whole, have two teams playing for Gabi, and have a table at the tournament to spread the word about Gifts of Gabis Grace.

If you would like to help make your checks out to "First Downs For Down Syndrome" and in the memo put "For Gifts of Gabi's Grace" and mail them to us. Someday when we get our 501(c)3 status approved it won't be quite so complicated but until then we appreciate your understanding! haha If you're not as worried about a receipt and want to use a credit or debit card you can go to this link - http://giftsofgabisgrace.org/Donations.html also go to this link for the mailing address.

We are also hoping to set up a Texas Hold 'em tournament in early June to raise money as well. If you are interested in that please just let us know and we'll get you more information as we have it. If anyone has any other suggestions of things for us to do to raise money for this event we would love to hear them. This is very important not only to Micah and myself but I think to all of you who have followed along with us to help raise awareness.

Remember Gabi!

Reflecting...

If only I could find a way to be more comfortable. I try using pillows, the heating pad, tylenol, and nothing seems to help at all. Sometimes I get some temporary relief, but then Kins starts whaling on me. There is no doubt in my mind this girl is as healthy as can be. We are so thankful that we have been sent this miracle child. We obviously fear the worst way more than others, but we have been through the worst, so we do not know how to act any other way.

Lately I have been thinking about Gabi a ton. I try so hard to only remember the fun things we got to experience, her laugh, her precious smile, her beautiful sparkling eyes. But for some reason the thing I invision the most is holding her for the last time...her last breath, it took our breath away. We watched as our sweet baby girl get her wings. And although she was put out of all misery at that point, which is very comforting, it was the most horrible thing ever. We wanted nothing more than to take our Pink and Squishy home and be one big happy family. But God had other plans. We have learned to accept those plans, but the pain never goes away, day to day becomes easier, but I miss her more than ever. And now that Kinsley is almost here I am reminded daily of my little girl I miss so much.

Daddy and I are holding up as well as we can. Kinsley's arrival is coming very soon. We already know she is going to be one spoiled over protected little girl, and she will be so loved, she already is. And she is so blessed to have a big sister for her special angel. I can't wait to tell her all about my punky.

I hope you all have a wonderful week, hopefully the weather will cooperate a little more and we can enjoy the sunshine! And do me a favor, give your children extra hugs and moochies and tell them just how much they mean to you. God works in mysterious ways and never know what can happen. I pray for all to be safe and protected from harm, but if you must go I pray you go in peace, just as my little angel did!

Pics I promised...and then some

34 weeks, can you tell she has dropped??? We sure can...we cannot wait for our sweet pea to arrive!!!











Aunt Tami, Uncle Brett, and Vicki don't know it, but they bought this adorable Betty Butterfly Rocker for Kins. There are even shapes on it for her to push and it will play 4 different songs...she is gonna love it!!! I purchased it with the gift card they gave us.













These are the pea pods that Mimi and Papi got Kins. Notice the pic that shows all 3 peas...Gracie, Gabi, and Kins...cute huh!?!

OVER THE RAINBOW on Idol

Our house was filled with tears as we watched American Idol tonight. One of the contestants, Jason Castro, sang Over the Rainbow. It was the version by Brother IZ, which is the version that is Gabi's song. It is amazing just how much joy a song can bring to your heart. Megan, Bella's mommy, even called as soon as she heard it! Just like Gabi's signature hair do...Piggies, she has a signature song...Over the Rainbow! So everytime you hear this beautiful song, Remember Gabi...we love you Pink and Squishy!
I would also like to dedicate this song to Angel Jack and Angel Brenlee...Gabi's friends:)

6 weeks to go

Everyday I wonder when will the actual day come for me to hold my new little sweet pea. Kins becomes more and more active everyday. I am starting to wonder though, is it that she is really becoming more active, or is it that we are just running out of room so I feel every thing more intensely? Either way I feel like we are starting to see the light. I go for my 34 week check up on Friday, even though today is the actual 34 week marker. I definitely think she will be spending a few more weeks in, but as Jason grandma has told me, she is dropping and she will be here sooner than that due date. She is a very wise old woman, and typically knows exactly what she is talking about, so we are gonna go with her on this one...Thanks Gram, it is encouraging!

I will post a few belly pics later, but I need Jason to take a few new pics from today...he is napping right now. Daddy's gotta get his rest too! Although I think I should be napping, while I still can. So until I get those pics taken here is Gracie and the pea pod Kinsley got from Mimi, asleep with me on the couch. The pea pod is super cute, it has a zipper on it that has 3 little pea rattles on the inside, all have precious little faces. Gracie named the peas, you will never believe the names...Gracie, Gabi, and Kinsley, (I will have to get a better pic of the pea pod as well)!Gracie cannot wait for sissy to arrive, she has been practicing with her baby dolls, or I should say, refreshing her memory. What a doll, she is the best big sissy my girls could ask for:)

Showered with Love

Saturday my mom and Aunt Laurie had a baby shower for us. At first I was a little worried no one would show, I guess I always fear the worst. And mom and Laurie had put quite a bit of work into it, so I was hoping for a good outcome. Well it was wonderful, over 20 people showed. We had a great time visiting and talking about Miss Kinsley and how much of a wild child she already is.

We received some adorable gifts and lots of gift cards. We are so thankful to be surrounded by our family and friends. Jason was even able to make an appearance, he typically works all day on Saturday, but he managed to sneak away. I didn't get as many pictures as I had hoped, but my mom and aunt took quite a few, so I am sure we have lots of memories perserved.



Thank you to all who attended and those who sent things in the mail! I just wish I was able to spend more time with each of you. That is the only bad thing about showers and gatherings similar to...you always feel like you are spreading yourself so thin.

April Fools on Mommy and Daddy

I have had many comments before about how much they appreciate my honesty on here. Well if you cannot handle the truth you probably should read on...this is pregnancy truth!!!

I was doing my ritual brushing my teeth before I get into the shower, I have no idea why I do it in that order, but I do. Anyways, as I was brushing and I felt a gush and it was uncontrollable. I was a little worried, it is definitely to early for my water to break. Well my first thought was I just lost control of my bladder. Usually I can gain control back...nope not today! I continued to get into the shower, cause I didn't want to make something out of nothing. Then I thought about it for a little while, one more concern Kins hadn't been moving around much this morning. Jason called and I told him what happened and he insisted I call my doctor, so of course I did.

The doctor said, just in case I want you to go straight to the hospital and go to Labor and Delivery...WHAT? Labor and Delivery? Jason was about 45 minutes away, I didn't have a bag packed, I hadn't even finshed getting ready from out of the shower. Well, luckily my step dad was home and he was more than happy to take me in. So I grab my purse and my phone, along with my phone charger, and off we went.

My poor step dad waited patiently in the waiting room for about an hour before he got any report. They gave me 2 different test to check fluids and see what it was. The first test came back for negative, it was not my water that broke, but they had one more test that was more detailed. I was hooked up to the fetal heart monitor as well as the contraction monitor. Kinsley's heart is great! And I had contractions but very few and far between for actual labor. The nurse did an exam and I am dialated to a 1...and I stayed at a 1 even an hour later. So little Miss Kinsley played her little April Fools joke on us today.

I have taken it very easy today, I am exhausted for some reason. Definitely taking advantage of the relaxing while I can. We are only 7 weeks away from our due date. Our family started a pool last night, bets on when she will arrive...guesses were anywhere from April 23rd to May 20th. My 3 year old nephew said May 24th, my due date is the 20th...I told him that answer was not acceptable.

Well I hope everyone had a less eventful day than we did. As much as I want Kins to come out now, she is still too early. So cook a bit longer baby girl:)