Monday, April 14, 2008


If only I could find a way to be more comfortable. I try using pillows, the heating pad, tylenol, and nothing seems to help at all. Sometimes I get some temporary relief, but then Kins starts whaling on me. There is no doubt in my mind this girl is as healthy as can be. We are so thankful that we have been sent this miracle child. We obviously fear the worst way more than others, but we have been through the worst, so we do not know how to act any other way.

Lately I have been thinking about Gabi a ton. I try so hard to only remember the fun things we got to experience, her laugh, her precious smile, her beautiful sparkling eyes. But for some reason the thing I invision the most is holding her for the last time...her last breath, it took our breath away. We watched as our sweet baby girl get her wings. And although she was put out of all misery at that point, which is very comforting, it was the most horrible thing ever. We wanted nothing more than to take our Pink and Squishy home and be one big happy family. But God had other plans. We have learned to accept those plans, but the pain never goes away, day to day becomes easier, but I miss her more than ever. And now that Kinsley is almost here I am reminded daily of my little girl I miss so much.

Daddy and I are holding up as well as we can. Kinsley's arrival is coming very soon. We already know she is going to be one spoiled over protected little girl, and she will be so loved, she already is. And she is so blessed to have a big sister for her special angel. I can't wait to tell her all about my punky.

I hope you all have a wonderful week, hopefully the weather will cooperate a little more and we can enjoy the sunshine! And do me a favor, give your children extra hugs and moochies and tell them just how much they mean to you. God works in mysterious ways and never know what can happen. I pray for all to be safe and protected from harm, but if you must go I pray you go in peace, just as my little angel did!


Anonymous said...

You guys have been on my mind all morning! Again, your blog made me smile and cry for our babies. I can't image how this experience has been for you. You are such and amazing family. I love you guys!


Isabella said...

Soon, soon, soon little Kinsley will be here. She is going to rotten!! (But in a good way) We miss you guys so much.
Praying for you always

Jason & Katie said...

Micah you touch my heart in so many ways when I read your blogs. You are such a wonderful person and you will be a great mother. God will continue to bless you and help use you to bless the lives of those around you. I kiss the twins and am so thankful each day that the Lord brought them into my life. I know that Kinsley will be a beautiful child, spoiled-I am sure-but a beautiful blessing.

Kacey Bode said...

You are amazing. Your words are so uplifting, to have your strength and faith after all you have gone through is.... I have no words. I think about your little Gabi often, and I look forward to seeing pics of the new baby.

Ginger said...

I have been reading your blog since just after your sweet little girl went to be with the Lord. I don't think I have ever posted. But your words touched me so in this post. The idea of holding your little girl when she took her last breath. What a privilege to hold her as she went to be with the Lord. But i can imagine the heartache was unbearable. I have so enjoyed watching your pregnancy. I have a little girl named Emma Grace who is 18 months old and was born with Mosaic Down Syndrome. She is a light in our life as I know that Gabi is as well. We have a blog and would love for you to check it out and get a look at our sweet baby girl. I will continue to pray for your pregnancy. Ginger

Pam said...

Oh Micah,

It hurts me when you are hurting. Gabi is such a precious little angel, and I know that when you send her our way, her and Rhett have little chats, and she cheers him on.

I think about you guys so much, and I think about Gabi all the time. Her beautiful little face is always imprinted in my mind.

I can't wait to meet Kinsley, and her and Gracie are the luckiest little girls around to have such an amazing sister watching over them.

We love you guys.


Pam and Rhett