Reflecting...

If only I could find a way to be more comfortable. I try using pillows, the heating pad, tylenol, and nothing seems to help at all. Sometimes I get some temporary relief, but then Kins starts whaling on me. There is no doubt in my mind this girl is as healthy as can be. We are so thankful that we have been sent this miracle child. We obviously fear the worst way more than others, but we have been through the worst, so we do not know how to act any other way.

Lately I have been thinking about Gabi a ton. I try so hard to only remember the fun things we got to experience, her laugh, her precious smile, her beautiful sparkling eyes. But for some reason the thing I invision the most is holding her for the last time...her last breath, it took our breath away. We watched as our sweet baby girl get her wings. And although she was put out of all misery at that point, which is very comforting, it was the most horrible thing ever. We wanted nothing more than to take our Pink and Squishy home and be one big happy family. But God had other plans. We have learned to accept those plans, but the pain never goes away, day to day becomes easier, but I miss her more than ever. And now that Kinsley is almost here I am reminded daily of my little girl I miss so much.

Daddy and I are holding up as well as we can. Kinsley's arrival is coming very soon. We already know she is going to be one spoiled over protected little girl, and she will be so loved, she already is. And she is so blessed to have a big sister for her special angel. I can't wait to tell her all about my punky.

I hope you all have a wonderful week, hopefully the weather will cooperate a little more and we can enjoy the sunshine! And do me a favor, give your children extra hugs and moochies and tell them just how much they mean to you. God works in mysterious ways and never know what can happen. I pray for all to be safe and protected from harm, but if you must go I pray you go in peace, just as my little angel did!