Pacers Game

In case you didn't know I changed my hair...again!






The foam finger always goes
over well with a 6 year old!















I swear we were really there for the game:)


Gracie finally got to go to her first NBA game on last night. It was a really good game, the Pacers played the Pistons, unfortunately they lost in the last minute, but we were already gone, so not a big deal for us. They had some pretty good entertainment, check out the video, watch close though, Jason recorded and he didn't know how long it would record, so really pay attention or you will miss it!

Balloons for Gabi...

We are quickly approaching Gabi's first birthday and I wanted to do something special in her memory. Seems like that has been my life mission lately doing things in her memory. Janurary 12, wow has it really been a year??? Well I came across my lastest idea but I need your help in order for it to be a success. Best thing is you can do this with your own family and it requires the small purchase of a balloon for each to participate. I want to do a balloon release. I would like to organize so that even though many of you who are near and far, we all release at the same time. First off I am definitely thinking hot pink balloons, afterall that was the best color on her, and I would assume if she could talk she'd tell me it was her favorite color. And here is the best part, Gracie wants to write sissy a message and put it in the balloon...afterall the balloons will make it to Gabbers in heaven:) Anyways I would love for each of you who participate to write a message, but be sure to include our blog address so then if anyone finds the message they can learn about our special angel and the joy she has brought into so many lives.

Unfortunately Jason and I will be in Indianapolis on her birthday, but I know that our family will be releasing with us! The best part is the 12th is on a saturday, so that should be a perfect day for all who want to participate without having to worry about work or our other daily tasks.

CELEBRATE THE LIFE OF GABRIELE SHERIDAN ACKER,
JANURARY 12, 2008...her first birthday
(hot pink) Balloon Release
12 pm central standard time!!!


Please pass this along to anyone you know who has been following our story. The most important request for us besides your participation, please take pictures and email them to me. I would love to make a special scrap page or 2 for our first annual balloon release. You know this will be our tradition, maybe it could be part of your families too. Afterall what better way to start a new year than remembering just how blessed we are for getting to be together. Gabi taught so many of us to love inconditionally and we want to continue to spread her story all over the nation!!!

Merry Christmas...

to all and to all a good night! Stayed tuned for photos, I will post tomorrow!!!

Happy Birthday Sweet Bella!!!

Today is a huge day for our little friend Bella, she turned 1. Many of you have heard me talk about her and her family. We became very close to them when Gabi and Bella were both in the PICU this past year. Her Mommy, Megan, and I have become very sepcial friends, she has really helped me through so much pain. We laugh, we cry, our girls have similar PICU stories, but their outcome obviously had a much better turn than ours. Well yesterday they threw Bella a party fit for a princess, she looked absolutely beautiful in her party dress, butterfly tiara, and Gabi's favorite, PIGGIES:) Please stop by her blog today and send her a special birthday wish, this is a day to rejoice and praise the good Lord. The doctors said she would not make it to her first birthday, well she is out to prove those doctors wrong...Keep reaching for the stars Bella, and remember Miracles DO Happen!!!

Check out her party pics

http://isabellagudde.blogspot.com/


Happy Birthday Princess, we love you:)

Bragging about Daddy!!!

I have to tell you just amazing Jason is. Once again his beautiful story about Gabi was pushlished for Families Together, in Topeka. We have worked very closely with a wonderful woman there named Lesli. She actually is the reason Gifts of Gabi's Grace has reached a non profit status. We are under their umbrella, which allows us to use their tax number. We are so lucky to have come in contact with her. She is truly an incredible person. She was lucky enough to have been blessed with meeting Gabi. Families Together had a retreat in Lawrence that we attended earlier this year and everytime I would check on Gabi, Lesli was holding her. How could you not fall in love with our little angel???
Jason has worked very closely with Lesli to get our status and I could not be happier. So now all you people who need to make dontaions for tax write off's...remember Gifts of Gabi's Grace. You saw the wonderfult things we did with Santa's Little Helpers. Your donations are greatly appreciated! Please feel free to email me with any interest in doing so! micah@giftsofgabisgrace.org

So back to my incredible husband! Not only did the story go out again, he asked Lesli if he could speak at any upcoming conferences. He secretly would love to be a professional motivational speaker. Anyone who has ever met him or listen to him speak about things he believes in you can understand why this would be the perfect dream job! Well Lesli did have an opportunity for him. He will be speaking in February, I don't remember when or where, but I will post that at a later date. He will be speaking to other dad's giving his Perspective of a Dad. He may even be a key speaker on the last day, but we are waiting to hear back on that. He is just such a passionate individual. I definitely believe it all has to do with his life experiences. He has been through and survived so much in his short time here. And with our most recent tragedy, he has become even more passionate about his beliefs. So daddy I just want you to know just how proud of you we are, we can't wait to hear you speak in Feb. and who knows what can come from that!!!

Looks can be deceiving!!!

So the last time I shared my prego pics people were shocked at how big my tummy was. That was almost 4 weeks ago, wow doesn't seem like it has been that long. Anyways I wanted to share more photos and I must say my tummy looks about the same, although I know it is getting bigger.

See shirt down is not so big!

Many of you know I do not work, well recently I started substitute teaching. I have really enjoyed it! Monday and Tuesday I will sub for a special ed. class, I am really looking forward to that. In college I had taken a few special ed. classes, I was an ed. major...then I changed to psych...I have no idea why. Anyways now I am rambling about nothing so next topic!

Also I wanted to share a little something from our little friend Chelsea. She will be 2 in January, she is the little girl in the button on the top of our blog page. Click on her picture or go to http://cbranam.blogspot.com/ Her treatment has been going very well. Last night they had a Bald is Beautiful party. With all the chemo. Chels was loosing hair quickly so they had a head shaving party. She is just the sweetest little thing. Her daddy and big brother even shaved their heads! Jason always shaves his head but when I told him about Chels party he wanted in on the action. He wasn't really due for a shave, but he is a huge Chelsea fan so he was all about shaving, he even shaved the scruf on his face:) Here's a pic of his support!!! Lots of hugs, loves, and prayers for Chelsea and her family!!!

The picture is something Gracie made especially for Chelsea. It is going in her stocking, we just haven't seen her yet to give it to her, so here's a sneak peak Carey!

And so Baby Girl has a name...

We finally decided on the most adorable name tonight! Thanks for all who offered there opinion. There is no reason behind the name, it just sounds good and we agreed...that's what it all comes down to right!!!

Kinsley Addyson Acker

The Name Game

I cannot believe how difficult this has become. We have completely decided against Amelia Claire. Although I adore the name, I have a friend whos daughter is named exactly that...what are the odds? As I told her though, great minds think alike:) And I think Cameron Miley is out as well. We have just debated so much that sometimes the more you debate the further you get from a decision. We have found a few other names that are now our top contenders, stay posted for details. I am not going to post any more possibilities, but once we have made a decision I will share it!

Thanks to all who have given us your opinion. Believe it or not it definitely has helped. We know that when we here her name it will be perfect for her, but we just haven't heard it yet! Although I will tell you we are getting very close:)

Still no pics of baby girl, but I am working on it. We got some really cool shots yesterday, I can't wait to share!

WE HAVE A THUMB SUCKER!!!

The first thing we saw was a thumb in the mouth, just like both big sissies:)
Baby GIRL Acker is weighing in at a healthy 5 oz. Her measurements are right on target. And her heart...it has 4 chambers...a complete heart is all we wanted. Looks like things are finally heading in the right direction Jason seemed a little bummed that we won't be naming her Brody Jaxon, maybe next time, although I am starting to wonder if he is capable of producing boys? We may just have to leave that task to Freddie:)
So we thought we had a name picked out, but we are still on the debate. Right now the top contenders are Amelia Claire and Cameron Miley??? Anyone have an opinion?

There are no major concerns. Nothing to indicate down syndrome or a heart defect. I got the reasults from my AFP this morning too...NORMAL! Wow, I am overwhelmed with excitement. A normal pregnancy...what's that? Guess I am about to find out. We are going back for a repeat level 2 in 3 weeks. The doctor did not get a clear shot of the kidneys so he would like to repeat the growth screening. Nothing to worry about he said this is very common so early in the pregnancy. But we had to go back within the next 3 weeks in order to be able to determine any issues on the charts for ds. After 21 weeks and they can not see if abnormalities are ds or not.
Sorry this sounds so mumble jumbled, but it really does make sense when the doctor says it...lost in translation right:)

I will try really hard to get the 3D pics up soon, but I don't have my scanner...so it may take some time.

Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers...it is working!!!

PROJECT SUCCESS...

1st Annual:

Santa's Little Helpers

Yesterday when we woke up and saw the weather report, I cried! There was a horrible ice storm coming and we feared the worst. After much discussion we decided Gracie would stay home with Mimi and Papi and Jason and I would try to make it to the hopsital. Afterall I had already spoke to Matt and Megan several times and they were well on there way. There were only a couple of disappointments, we could not pick up the Santa costume. With the weather so up in the air we did not want to drive any further than we had to. We will definitely try for it again next year though.
When arrived at the hospital with no problems, I was so thankful that Jason and I decided to chance it. We had so much stuff for the stockings not everything would fit in them. We stuffed 21 stockings and had 3 extras. They were filled with wonderful toys, pretty princess makeup, games, slinkys, silly putty, dinosaurs, hot wheel cars, barbies, jewelry, candy, books, coloring books and crayons, hair bows, beanies, McDonalds gift cards, movie tickets, picture frames, ornaments, and magnets. Megan's mom made 12 blankets, which was perfect for the 12 infants that were in. Megan had made little tags with Bella and Gabi's picture on it, oh they were perfect!
As I mentioned earlier the only other disappointment we had is that we couldn't personally delivery the stockings. The nurses made sure they were properly distributed. And the nurses we sooooooooo excited to see both of our families. They were amazed at how well things turned out. We had so many wonderful donations, money, toys, food...we cannot thank everyone enough for all that they did to make this such a successful project.
I must say everyone was quite impressed with my memory box. She was our pride and joy, so it made it so special to deliver. I will be so excited the next time we go that I will see my angel hanging to watch over the other little ones.
Spending the day with Matt and Megan was exactly what we needed. They brought Abby and Madison, they were such good helpers. I wish Gracie would have gone with us, but we made her a deal. In 2 weeks when we are back for Christmas we will take her to deliver the pictures her classmates made and the reindeer food. She agreed that would work for her. So soon we will go back for the second half of our delivery.

2 days till Delivery

Things are really getting hectic with all the last minute details to the stocking delivery. First off I want to give a HUGE thank you to all that have contributed. It is because of you all and your gracious support that this is going to be a huge success. We have tons of toys and trinkets, not to mention some McDonalds gift cards, movie tickets, ornaments, magnets:), picture frames, and don't forget about the finger puppets that myself, my mom, and Nurse Zabrina and her family helped make. And Jason will be treating the kids to something very special...SANTA!!! We found a costume for a reasonable price to rent. Oh and I can't forget to mention that the nurses and doctors were not left out, I had a crew of ladies who baked lots of goodies. I better make sure the camera is fully charged, cause I am sure we will have a ton of kodak moments:)

I did forget one thing, anyone who is interested in helping with the stuffing of the stocking we are meeting at 11am in the hospital cafeteria, please let me know if you are interested...I have to give you directions as to how to get past security!


Now comes for the hardest part of my week...I finally made the memory box we are going to have hung in the PICU. A while back I had asked the nurses if it would be possible to make something to hang in Gabi's memory. They gave me the green light and I have been pondering the thought for about 2 months. It has been really hard to find the motivation to make something such as this. But I decided this would be the perfect time to make it and then delivery it with the stockings. That is just one less trip to the PICU, I am not really a fan of the place. So, I put the finishing touches on my little box tonight. I love how it turned out! I just hope there are no issues with the hospital. They tried to find some guidelines, but they were unsuccessful and told me that I should make it how I want and if they have to make changes they will. I used so much glue that it would be impossible to rearrange things. So if it doesn't work, I will just keep it for home, then make another according to the hospital standards.


The frame is a black shadow box, above her name (at the top) it says Angel, below it says, Straight From Heaven Up Above. And then above, You Will Never Be Forgotten, says ANGEL. I think you can read the rest, let me know if you can't.

Let me know what you think...I think it is a perfect expression of her charm and personality. My spunky little punky!!!

By the way I love when people comment, makes me feel like you are still a part of our journey!

Thanks again and Love to all!!!

16 weeks, only 24 to go

Today was my 16 week check up. I picked up Daddy and off to the office we went! Everything sounded good. We were a little worried at first, because Dr. Meltzer couldn't find the baby's heart beat. It ended up being a bad machine, so she grabbed another, she heard the heart and some movement, but it wasn't very clear...and then we heard a LOUD STRONG beat! I also had the AFP test done today as well. The AFP is a very typical blood test, the only thing is it has very false/positive results, so we are not really looking to deep into that. If things were to come back like they did with Gabi then they would have us go in for a level 2 ultra sound. Given our history, we decided last time we were in the office to skip the waiting on the results of the AFP and go ahead and schedule the level 2. Monday is a big day for us. That is also the day we will find out the baby's sex...maybe we will reveal the baby's name at that time as well...you just never know:) So this next week we will be a little high strung, we are really anticipating the level 2. We are leaving it in God's hands, obviously the only thing we can do, but as many times before it is very hard to wait! So please say an extra prayer for the baby and our sanity this week!

The Awakening

My best friend sent this to me and it really hit home, so I figured I'd share. Thanks Laurie!!!

A time comes in your life when you finally get it. When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!
Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on and, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world through new eyes.
This is your awakening. You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.
You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect, and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are and it's OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself, and in the process a sense of newly found confidence is born of self-approval.
You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that not everyone will always be there for you, and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.
You stop judging and pointing fingers, and you begin to accept people as they are and to over look their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.
You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the crap you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, how much you shouldn't weigh, what you should wear, where you should shop, what you should drive, how and where you should live, what you should do for a living, who you should sleep with, who you should marry, what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children, or what you owe your parents.
You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing, and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with, and in the process you learn to go with your instincts. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility, and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry, and that martyrs get burned at the stake.
Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving, and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable, or important because of the man or woman on your arm or the child that bears your name.
You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations, and outcomes. You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love and you learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms. Just to make you happy. And, you learn that 'alone' does not mean lonely.
And you look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you "stack up." You also stop working so hard at putting feelings aside, smoothing things over, and ignoring your needs.
You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK. . . and that it is your right to want things that you want and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands. You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity, and respect and you will not settle for less. And you allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you, to glorify you with his or her touch and in the process you internalize the meaning of self-respect.
And you learn that your body really is your temple. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water, and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear, so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul, so you take more time to laugh and to play.
You learn that, for the most part, in life you get what you believe you deserve and that much of life is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for, and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success, you need direction, discipline, and perseverance.
You also learn that no one can do it all alone and its OK to risk asking for help. You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time: FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears, because you know that whatever happens you can handle it, and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms.
You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve, and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening. And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state - the ego.
You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy, and resentment must be understood and redirected, or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.
You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls. You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself. by yourself, and you try to make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart's desire. And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.
Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.
~Virginia Swift~

A Lot of Randomness, but it's Necessary

Where do I begin???

How about we had a good Thanksgiving. We had a very difficult time being completely happy, after all a piece of our family is gone. But we spoke of the good times and smiled a lot, but shed many many tears. Gracie even had a hard time, which broke our hearts, but it is a fact we are all sad! We decided though that we will hang Gabi's stocking, which I planned on anyways, and we are going to start a new family tradition. Every Christmas we are going to pick out one special gift for all of us to enjoy, that reminds us of our little angel.

As you can see we helped MiMi and Popi put up their tree. Gracie had fun, she is such a good helper. And she did it in style with the santa hat and all, of course we had to get daddy in on the action...hehehe!!!

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Update on the Santa's Little Helpers...

The donations just keep coming, thank you to everyone who has been helping. These kids are going to get some wonderful gifts and it's all because of the love and support we continue to get from each of you. I can't wait for the 8th, it will be a very special day!

I do have one question though and this is for anyone who can help, Jason wants to dress as Santa...imagine that:) Anyways does anyone know of a place we can rent a costume or does anyone have one we could borrow, that would fit him??? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

Baby Update...

And now for those of you who keep asking to share the belly pics...well here you go! So the first one was about 3 or 4 weeks ago, but the bigger or the 2 which is very obvious is from Saturday. Last week we renamed Bean, Lemon Drop, the baby was then the size of a lemon, so hence the name. Well looks like we should just call it baby Acker, cause now this week is it the size of an apple. I know Gweneth Palthrow can call her baby Apple, but I just can't...so baby Acker it is!!! Next week is my 16 week regular check up, then the 10th is the big one...level 2 ultra sound and we find out what we are having, I CANNOT WAIT for that appt. I haven't felt much as far as kicks and movement, but I feel flutters all the time. I have been getting sick more often. Gracie and I say it is a boy, Gabi never gave me this much trouble, so it's gotta be a boy:) As for Jason he thinks it is a girl, because he thinks he will never have a boy, but I know he'd love a little boy. Either way neither one of us really care, and as Jason would say we just want a healthy ticker! The rest we can handle!

Santa's Little Helpers...Delivery Date

This is a sneak peak at the ornament I am making for the kids. Stay posted for more pics to come, you won't want to miss delivery pics!

Megan and I have been doing a lot of planning for our big event! We are stuffing 24 stocking, there are 23 rooms in the PICU and we have 1 very close friend, Chelsea at CMH. She is the little darling at the top of my blog who is fighting leukemia. Our delivery date will be Dec. 8th. Megan and I have been doing a lot of shopping. When you are buying for that many stockings though the funds go fast. One thing we are doing is trying to make the stockings as personal to each child as we can. We can't get to much info. from the PICU, but we have some inside scoop to help us plan properly. Needless to say we will be doing last minute shopping in order to give it that personal touch.

I have decided to make a few items for the kids. I am making jinglebell snowmen, penguin finger puppets, small foam picture frames, and a very special ornament with our foundation name on it, including the year. Like I said this will be an annual event, but in order to make it successful we need your help. I have a list of items if anyone wants to donate toys. If you do not want to do the purchasing I would be more than happy to do the purchasing if you can provide a little money. I cannot tell you how much this means to us! I hate asking for money, but funds are going quickly and I want to give so much to these kids. Not only the kids but we are planning on providing a few items for the parents as well. Being at the hospital day in and day out is exhausting and expensive, so any help is better than no help.

Be sure to check out Miss Bella blog too, will are so proud of partnering with her mommy and daddy on this very special project! http://isabellagudde.blogspot.com/

Love to all!

Have a safe and filling Thanksgiving weekend! Gobble Gobble:)

Be sure to give thanks to those special in your lives. You just never know what may or may not be there tomorrow! I give thanks everyday for the opportunity to have such an amazing angel in my life. She gave us so much in such a little amount of time. She has no idea how much she impacted our lives. I love her more and more everyday! I miss you punky!!!

The Game...

I finally made it to my first ever NFL game. Jason's company gets Colts season tickets and we scored them this last weekend. We were 4 rows from the field on the 25 yard line, on the visitors side. Wow...did I mention they were incredible seats:) Anyways it just so happened the Colts played the Chiefs. We wore Colts gear, but I was cheerin for the Chiefs in my heart. Not much of a game, but at least it wasn't a complete blow out.

By the way I did chop off my hair and every time I get bored it gets shorter. This is a terrible pic of me, but Jason looks good...as always!

1st Annual Santa's Little Helpers

As many of you know through my little angels passing we have started a foundation in her memory, Gifts of Gabi's Grace. If any of you have read our blog you know of our little miracle friend, Bella. She too had a congenital heart defect at birth. To learn more about her story go to http://isabellagudde.blogspot.com/ She has been fighting for her life this entire past year. She is doing really well these days. After spending over 100 days in the hospital her parents decided to start a foundation as well, Miracles Happen.
Well, we have teamed up and decided to do 2 annual events for the children at Childrens Mercy Hospital. The first is coming up, Santa's Little Helpers. We have had a really hard time deciding which children to provide for, we made our decision yesterday, all the rooms in PICU. That is about 20 rooms. We want to give all the children stockings filled with goodies. This is where we need your help. If anyone would like to help us, whether it be donating time or money we would greatly appreciate it! I hate asking for money, but it is very important to us to give these children a little bit of normalcy while spending time in the hospital.
Please send me an email, micah@giftsofgabisgrace.org if you are interested! Remember we are trying to create good memories through some of the hardest times a child may be experiencing. Have a little Christmas spirit and help us out!
Thanks!
Love to ALL!!!
Happy Holidays!

Micah, Jason, Gracie, Angel Gabi, and all of us at Gifts of Gabi's Grace

Happy 10 months Angel!!!

I cannot believe that 10 months ago today I gave birth to the most amazing little angel. She definitely made our world a better place. We will forever be thankful for her beauty and grace. She blessed all of us by introducing us to a wonderful community. She still continues to bring so much joy to daddy and I. We have embraced life and we are so thankful for all that we have be given.

Gabi: mommy, daddy, and sissy miss you so much but I have a feeling you will give us the biggest welcoming party when we see you again!

Laurie, I bet today Gabi is showing her debut video with the leg warmers and all:)

Have a beautiful day angel...we love you sooooooooooo much!

Our Special Story

Jason had the honor of writting about story about our angel in the KC Down Syndrome Guild Newsletter. He was actually asked to write the story before Gabi passed, but then as they followed our journey, and she left us they really wanted our story . It was very difficult for Jason, but like he said at her funeral he always found strength in her and that is what inspired the story. It was just recently published, it's the November/December issue of Connections.

This is the direct link to the newsletter, all you need to do is go to page 2...and ENJOY!!!

http://kcdsg.org/files/content/November%20December%202007%20Connections.pdf

He did such a beautiful job explaining what Gabi meant to us and how she changed our lives, forever. Of course I would expect nothing less coming from him, he is so inspired by his girls. I am so proud of him and how wonderful he is to our family. I am a lucky woman! Thank you baby for being our rock, I love you sug!

Baby Bean Acker

Today was my 12 week check-up. Everything sounded great. The baby's heart beat was so strong and loud. We really liked our new doctor. She was recommended to us from a friend and I would recommend her as well, atleast so far. We talked a lot about Gabi and what we will do to be prepared. We ruled out all test that have any risks of losing the baby. Like I have said before, it is just not that important to us to know, we'd rather have a baby than an answer, which sometimes you don't even get. We are leaving the unknown in God's hands, I'd like to think that Gabi is helping her baby brother or sister as well! She is the perfect little angel, and I know how hard she will fight for him/her. I gotta tell ya we are getting the feeling it is a boy. Things are just different this time around. The way I feel, the food I crave, and of course because we have all pink girlie stuff it will be a boy:) Oh well, just means more shopping, as if I wouldn't do that anyways!

Our next appointment with Dr. Meltzer is Dec. 4th. On Dec. 10th we have scheduled a level 2 ultrasound. At that point they will look very closely at the baby's measurements. The level 2 is where we saw everything with Gabi for the first time. If there are any concerns with the baby's heart then we will schedule a fetal echocardiogram, and they may just do that due to our history. We will still do the AFP blood tests, but that is typical in any pregnancy. Other than that we will just leave the rest up to the good Lord above. On the 10th we should be able to see the sex of the baby. Jason still wants it to be a surprise, but I just don't think I can wait. I am no good at surprises and he cannot tell me no, so if I was a bettin woman, I'd say I will get my way:)

Jason got to go to the appointment and that was so great! I heard at the first appointment, but for him and I to hear it together...it is exactly what we needed. Hopefully he will be able to go to the appointment on the 10th, I will definitely need him that day. And he will drive himself crazy if he's not...so it will be best for both of us!

Thank you all for your continuous love and prayers!
Hugs to all!!!

Daddy's Here!

First off...Hello to everyone! haha. I know that I have not been the best about putting entries on here since Gabi passed. In all honesty it's a little difficult. This was my outlet to keep the world informed on how much of a fighter our little girl was. I was able to talk about how strong and beautiful she was, how incredible a little pee pee, and lower heart rate was ;-). Well now that she is gone what can I say to the world about the strength of my baby? Well let me see if I can come up with something...

1. She gave her mother and father the strength to take a chance to create a better life for our family.
2. Her mommy has found strength in her to enjoy and love the new baby growing inside her now.
3. Her sister has become a more appreciative girl of time with family.
4. Her daddy goes to her every day for strength and hope that he is making the right decisions to take care of our family.
5. She has introduced us to life long friends that will always impact our lives.
6. She gives mommy and daddy the strength to communicate and work through every feeling together, to stay as strong and loving as a family as we can.

Every day Gabi still impacts our lives. Whether it is to reflect on the things that made us happy, sad, or angry and to embrace those feelings and express them. To remember to apprecaite all the little things in the world that could be gone tomorrow. To give all of our loved ones an extra kiss or hug before we go. To take a chance in life, do the things that make us happy, and to love like it's your last moment on earth. And even as hard as it is somedays to put our faith and love in God. Even though we may question why on a constant basis, we still know it is his plan and his will that things happened exactly the way they did for a reason. To remember that even though we may question the why and even get angry at times, he knows that we still love him because he will always love us!

Ok...there is my entry for the next 3 months...LOL. Just kidding, I will do better at putting more on here. I promise to make the next entry more entertaining than this one!

So as a famous man says on a repeated basis "This is Jason Acker until next time...Goooood Day!"

Love
Jason, Micah, Gracie, Angel Gabi, Belly Bean Baby Acker

Way to Long...

I feel like I have been hiding or something. This weekend we packed like crazy in KS. Poor Gracie didn't have much fun time with us, but we sure tried to make packing fun...if that is even possible:) I had her go through her things and get rid of stuff she doesn't play with...out with the old, make room for the new. Christmas is just around the corner! Anyways for the first time ever she filled an entire box on her own of things she wants to donate to other kids. She has such a big heart, we were so proud of her!

Yesterday was a really rough day at church. We hadn't been in a while and the message really got to me. I couldn't stop crying! Basically it was about prayer and how we need to come together as christian and pray, I find this to be very difficult lately. I do not doubt that there was a reason for Gabi coming and going so quickly, but it breaks my heart. It makes me question a lot and ask why alot. Needless to say yesterday was a tear jerker all day...oh I miss my angel so much!

Today was much better though, no tears...but the day is not over! I miss my babies daddy, he had to go back to Indy today. Can't wait to see him on friday!

My Angel is Near...

This picture is for Papa Acker, it's his favorite! Check out those B-E-A-U-tiful blue eyes...

Oh punky, we miss you so much...the pain is not getting any easier and I am starting to wonder if it ever will???

I have been thinking about this for a while now. One of the gifts we received after Gabi passed was a beautiful wind chime, from Mike and Whitney. Well I finally made Jason hang it on Sunday. It is hanging on our porch and let me tell you, the thing has not stopped making noise. Everytime I hear it it is gives me a warm fuzzie feeling. I can hear it throughout the entire complex...hope the neighbors don't mind and I say oh well if they do, it is very theraputic for me. In fact the other night it was raining and we had our bedroom windows cracked, I fell asleep to the chimes. I know Gabi is near and hearing the chime reassures that!

A Risky Test

I called the doctor's office today to get some information on the CVS test that I am scheduled for on the 2nd. When I scheduled the test, my mind wasn't thinking of the questions I have come up with since. The only information I was given was that this test will show if their are any abnormalities in the baby's chromosomes. I had no idea the procedure and if there were any risks. I should have known better, oh course there are risks. Today I spoke to the nurse and she told me it is even more risky than an amnio...and I did know the risks of that. So I went on to ask what exactly is the procedure...another needle, just like the amnio, but more pain and it takes longer, sometimes several tries before they get the proper amount of fluid. She asked why I chose this plan? And did I plan on terminating the pregnancy based on the results. The first thing I said was ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! I chose this because this is what the doctor suggested. I want this baby no matter what issues may or may not be there. I told her I needed to speak to my husband because of the risk of losing the baby. I would much rather not know than risk the chance of losing this little angel. I told her I had already made up my mind and wanted to cancel, but wanted to run it by him. As soon as I starting telling Jason, he stopped me and said cancel. I just love him so much, I knew that is what he would say, but he didn't even let me finish before he said the exact same thing I told the nurse. This is how I know he is my perfect match, we are just right there with each other. I am so blessed and I thank God everyday that he brought Jason into my life...I love you baby!!!
Anyways, needless to say I have canceled the appointment. This means they will just keep a closer watch on the baby's development given my history. Later in the pregnancy there are other test that can and will be done, but nothing to risky!
I also found a doctor in Indy, I made my first appt. today. Just talking to the receptionist has already made me feel good about this place. She was super nice and very helpful and just kept telling me how wonderful the doctors are in the practice, especailly the one I will be seeing! My next appt. is Nov. 5th

So prayers for the baby's health, daddy's new job (which is going great), and my crazy appetite ( I have been eating like crazy, I am afraid to see how much I gain this time).

Love to all...

Gracie, Your steppy, Daddy, and Sadi miss you tons...Daddy and I can't wait to see you this weekend!!!

2 Months to the Day

Can you believe that it has been 2 months, I can't! I feel like I am still just waiting to bring her home from the hpospital. In all actuality it has been 4 months since she has been home. WOW!!! Now that is hard to believe, I feel like life is in fast forward. Today I want everyone to give their children an extra hug and kiss from Gabi. In honor of my angel, tell your children they have a very special little angel watching over them:) Oh Gabbers Daddy and I miss you terribly! Love you PINK and SQUISHY!!!

Today Jason and I are going downtown Indy for the first time. Well kind of, last night we got tickets to the Pacers game. It was actually really fun. We had club seat, we had our own waitress and everything. Aaaahhhhh, the perks of working for a big company. Jason is working on getting tickets to the Colts, Chiefs game. Now that I am really excited for, I have never been to a NFL game and to go to a game like the Colts, holy buckets!!! Ok, now I am geting a little silly, so I will go for now. Sorry I haven't posted to many pictures lately, I have tons to share, but something is wrong with the old laptop...darn technology!

Hope all has a fantastic weekend. Love to all!

31 for 21

I remember this song years ago thinking how courageous that little boy was. It always brought tears to my eyes and now more than ever it will forever have a special meaning to me. If we allow our children to believe they can accomplish anything they can and they will. The sky is the limit, it is not far to put limitations on what the mind can do. I know that Gabi will continue to accomplish great things in heaven as she did her on earth. She opened our hearts and minds and she will forever be in our hearts. Thank you angel for all that you gave mommy and daddy! We love you and miss you so so much!

Standing Outside the Fire

Seven Months, One Week, One Day

My mom's best friends granddaughter wrote this poem. Let me give you a little on her, Madison Christie is 12 years old. I have known her her whole life, she is an amazing young lady. She wrote a poem for us and I just got it last week, talk about a tear jerker and for such a young lady she sure knows how to get to my heart. Thanks Madison! We will have to get together soon, love you!!

Seven months, one week, one day,
In my arms I watch you lay.
Your tiny hand around my finger,
Around your crib at night I lingered.

Seven months, one week, one day,
I cannot think of much to say,
All I know is that I miss you,
And wish right now that I could kiss you.

Seven months, one week, one day,
I wonder why you could not stay,
It's not the same without you near,
We wish that somehow you were here.

Seven months, one week, one day,
This ia all I can say,
Please know how much we love you,
And someday we'll be home too.

Author~ Madison Christie

I want to post a ton of pictures, but something is wrong with the system right now. It may have something to do with the fact I am picking up a signal from the apartment complex and it is very weak. We get our internet and cable hooked up this afternoon, so hopefully then I can post pics!

Indy

I still haven't gone by the post office to do our change of address, but other than that it is official, we have moved. The apartment is in shambles right now. The kitchen is the only thing that is put together and we have groceries. I don't remember if I mentioned this already or not, but we only moved the smaller things. We did not bring any of our furniture, so that is what I have been searching for here. We did find a couch yesterday...it is a 2 piece sectional, I have never been a fan of those, but we found a really good deal and it has a big leather ottoman, which is exactly what we were looking for. We found a dining set too, but no way to load it up so Jason is gonna see if someone from work can help with that. Ok enough furniture talk...

With all that is going on in our lives I have definitely stayed busy and side tracked! Although I gotta tell you all, I sure miss my Gabbers! We didn't bring a ton of her stuff this time, but you should see all the framed pictures I have of her...you would think I was obsessed or something. There is nothing wrong with showing off my baby girl though! Anyways I have found a bit of comfort these days knowing she is still with us in spirit, I just would give anything to look into those big blue eyes and hug her, and love her, and squeeze her, and kiss her all over!

Not Much Time

We have been extremely busy. We are officially moving tomorrow to Indianapolis. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate moving, or I should say packing. This week flew by and of course I was not motivated and waited till the last minute to pack up. We filled the rental as much as we could, but we left quit a bit behind. Jason is taking off around 1am and I am flying out at 9am. Original plan we for both of us to fly, but then we realized we needed to bring our belongings...imagine that needing stuff! Anyways I stuck with the original plan and Jason will drive. I feel bad, but he doesn't mind to much. The next time we are back, we will just continue to fill suitcases to get the rest of our stuff there.

I had a good weekend. Yesterday was Missouri Valley College Homecoming, of course I went to meet up with my friends. It was a nice little get away, but I missed Jason and Gracie a ton. they stayed at home and packed. I will post pictures at a later time...camera and cord are packed away:) Beth, Jen, and I had a blast being together again back in Marshall is always special to us. I sure miss my girls! Many of my sorority sisters came back for the occasion, always a good time had by all. Some girls I haven't seen in a while, it was so good to catch up! We always have t-shirts made and this year the girls included a butterfly on the design for my little angel, they have no idea how much that means to me...thanks girls!

It maybe a few days due to the move before I get back on here, but do not give up on me. When I return I have a very special poem I want to post from a very special little girl! Stay tuned!!!

Love to All...

May 20, 2008

The picture isn't that great, but it is the first one and I had to share!


It is official Jason got his confirmation today when I went to my doctor's appointment. My due date is May 20th!!! Because of our history with Gabi we will do some test early on to determine if the baby has any abnormalities in its chromosomes. That test will take place in a few weeks, so we will anxiously await for results.


When I saw my litttle bean, I could see the heart beat right away, I fell in love all over again! I am 8 weeks, whihc means this baby was conceived before Gabi passed. So it is true her spirit left her body and is now coming back in a healthy body!


Dear Lord, please put your hands on this new baby that it will be heathly and an amazing little ball of fire just like its big sisters!!!





Love to all!

Uuuuuuggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

Well today was the big day for my doctors appointment. My appt. was schedule at 11, I arrived promptly at 10:30, I needed to fill out paperwork. So I gave the receptionist my name and she responded with, "You're appt. was at 10." There is no way I could of gotten this wrong, I have been counting down for 3 weeks. So she goes back to speak with the nurse, she comes back out and then asks if I had my paperwork, I said "No, I never got it" and she looks at me as if I was an idiot...not what I want to be feeling at this point. She asks if I can come back next week...no, friday...no, how about tomorrow at 11...Yeah, I guess. I absolutely cannot believe this woman was so rude. I admit I made the mistake, but come on it was only a half and hour and I never even got a reminder call or the paperwork with the reminder card. I am so frustrated! Laurie told me this was a great doctors office, but she forgot to mention they are not the nicest people up front. Can't blame her, oh course she was hoping I'd have a pleasant experience. I called her and we griped about it...she said it's happened to her before. I just wish when people sign up to do a job like a receptionist they would realize people make honest mistakes and they shouldn't make them feel bad, especially when those people are pregnant women!!!

I wanted to tell her to be nice or else I'd hop over the counter and hurt her, but what good would that do, then I'd be just as obnoxious as her! So I kept apologizing and I have an appt. tomorrow, wish me better luck then! All this excitement about today and I screw it up....uuuugggghhhhhh!!!

Prom fit for a King or Queen...

Our Prom Princess!!!







KC Down Syndrome Guild holds an annual prom. With the help of 175 volunteers, the DSG welcomed 400 guests with various disabilities (Down syndrome, Autism, Cerebral Palsy, Spina Bifida, Traumatic Brain Injury) for a fabulous evening of dinner, dancing and fun. One of our local news stations covered the event. Watch the video by clicking on the link below. Every little girls dreams can come true, watch this story!!!

http://www.myfoxkc.com/myfox/pages/Home/Detail;jsessionid=FFC33AF6473C0BB1A8BF0300AB44801B?contentId=3189732&version=1&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=VSTY&pageId=1.1.1&sflg=1

Things to Remember...

Today I went to my first group meeting for parents who have lost a child. Talk about a club you never want to be a part of. It breaks my heart that I was there, but it felt so good to talk about my little angel. There were 2 others moms there, but my mommy came with me I was really glad she was there. The other women have such amazing strength, but it is so hard to relate when everything is still so new and unrealistic...I kept thinking the whole time...I DO NOT BELONG HERE! I want to go home and see my baby, hold her in my arms, snuggle with her in bed, kiss her all over, squeeze her little tushy!

Mommy, I love you so much, thanks for always being there for me! You're the best!

Before the meeting mom and I went up to visit Chelsea, and of course it made my day. Chelsea has such a beautiful smile, and Carey well I don't think I even need to say, she is amazing. It was the first time my mom really met Chel, she feel in-love with ehr instantly...who doesn't?
After the meeting I had to take some toys that made it home with us after our stay to the PICU. Nurse Shelia and Debbie were working. We got to visit with Shelia briefly, unfortunately we were ready to go and Debbie was busy, so we left. Sorry Debbie, we love you though:)

So tonight I want to leave you with this...
Remember Gabi:
her contagious smile,
her sparkling personality,
her big beautiful eyes,
her amazing spirit,

Most importantly remember her and how she brought so much love into so many lives!!!


I love you angel!

P.S. Happy Birthday Great Papa Bowles, we love you!!!

7 Weeks Later...

I have to admit last night was terrible. Jason was gone and I was all alone. But I have an incredible friend who did help me get through my night...Megan, Bella's Mommy. I had left a comment on her blog and of course it was emotional, she called immediately. I just love her so much, I told Jason tonight I have a new best friend. She gets me in a way no one else does, although there are some things she doesn't understand and I pray she never...by the way Bella is doing great! Anyways her and I have so much we want to do with our foundations, they have started one as well. So we have somethings we are working on, hopefully in time for Christmas, keep checking the blog for details as it gets closer. WE will definitely need everyone's help to make it a special Christmas for the sick kids at Childrens Mercy!

Anyways, thank you Megan I couldn't of gotten through the night without you! Love you!!!

And so my friends I leave you with this beautiful poem my sister in-law gave to me...












Our Little Angel

You were our little angel
we loved to hold you so close,
the softness of your baby skin
like petals of a rose.

We loved it when we cuddled you
and held you in our arms,
You were our little angel
with sweet angelic charms.

We think back to memories
so precious and so few,
for one day God had chosen you
to be His little angel too.
~ Anne Peterson

Gabriele Sheridan, Mommy and Daddy love you so much and we can't wait to see you again!!!

Our special song...

You are my sunshine My only sunshine.
You make me happy When skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear, How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away

The other nite, dear, As I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you in my arms.
When I awoke, dear, I was mistaken
And I hung my head and cried.

You are my sunshine, My only sunshine.
You make me happy When skys are grey.
You'll never know, dear, How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away.


I still sing to my angel often, this was what I call her favorite song, except I only sang her the chorus. I don't know that I ever knew the rest of the song, but once I found it tonight, I realized just how much more of a meaning it has to me now. Oh how I miss my suinshine! I love you punky...xoxo